Pathetic and Strange
Pathetic
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm in the process of getting myself out of debt. It's one of those things that I've let go for far too long and, now, it's finally time for me crawl the hell out of the hole I've dug and get my life, at least in that respect, back on track. Part of my master plan for saving money is that I am, from now on, only eating cheap, dollar store foods for lunch at work. No more fast food, no more trips to Food Exchange, no more eating out. Period. Today was no different of course and, when I looked at my choices of either Chef Boyardee, Ramen, a different flavor of Ramen or just more coffee, I realized that none of them sounded good. So, what did I end up eating for lunch? A half-sleeve of off-brand saltine crackers that were liberally dipped into a small package of Burger King brand Ranch dressing left over from fuck-knows-when. If that isn't the most pathetic excuse for lunch since the concept of a noon-time meal was invented, then I'll eat my hat. Because I still have another package of Ranch here at my desk.
Strange
Yes, I've had quite a bit of coffee this morning, but still I find it strange that I've been peeing every fifteen minutes or so since about 10 o'clock this morning. I know that I've got a pretty small bladder anyway, but this is becoming ridiculous. I'm sure the people whose cubicles are by the bathroom think I have either some sort of serious medical issue, or that I have an ever-worsening drug habit that necessitates the usage of a mostly-private stall. Seriously, I'm starting to feel like a pregnant lady and it's weirding me out.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm in the process of getting myself out of debt. It's one of those things that I've let go for far too long and, now, it's finally time for me crawl the hell out of the hole I've dug and get my life, at least in that respect, back on track. Part of my master plan for saving money is that I am, from now on, only eating cheap, dollar store foods for lunch at work. No more fast food, no more trips to Food Exchange, no more eating out. Period. Today was no different of course and, when I looked at my choices of either Chef Boyardee, Ramen, a different flavor of Ramen or just more coffee, I realized that none of them sounded good. So, what did I end up eating for lunch? A half-sleeve of off-brand saltine crackers that were liberally dipped into a small package of Burger King brand Ranch dressing left over from fuck-knows-when. If that isn't the most pathetic excuse for lunch since the concept of a noon-time meal was invented, then I'll eat my hat. Because I still have another package of Ranch here at my desk.
Strange
Yes, I've had quite a bit of coffee this morning, but still I find it strange that I've been peeing every fifteen minutes or so since about 10 o'clock this morning. I know that I've got a pretty small bladder anyway, but this is becoming ridiculous. I'm sure the people whose cubicles are by the bathroom think I have either some sort of serious medical issue, or that I have an ever-worsening drug habit that necessitates the usage of a mostly-private stall. Seriously, I'm starting to feel like a pregnant lady and it's weirding me out.
posted by Clinton at 2:10 PM
11 Comments:
I enjoyed both the Pathetic and Strange parts of this post.
Do you think your other co-workers are beginning to suspect a herion addiction, what with the not eating and frequent trips to the bathroom and all?
Honestly, I haven't ruled it out. Plus, my cubicle is littered with spent needles for some reason.
If you need some help justifying your coffee intake here is something for you to peruse: http://men.webmd.com/features/coffee-new-health-food
We keep it posted at work next to the
free coffee that encourages people to
buy snacks from us. Profits go toward regular office beer bashes. As for the BK Ranch Saltines, I don't think you want to know what WebMD has to say about that.
Maybe the combination of ranch dressing and crackers is making you pee a lot?
J... I think WebMD, under the heading Ranch-Dipped Saltines, merely has a picture of a heart exploding.
Jeff... Ah yes. I'm forgetting the most basic principle in chemistry: When you comibine X amount of Ranch dressing with Y amount of off-brand saltine crackers, you get Z (which equals a bunch of pee).
Down with Ramen!!
Ranch and Saltines I might try that for dinner. Yum.
~Irish
I hear that salt on a banana peel make good lunches too.
Irish... Watch yourself. That's a dish only for the most experienced of bums.
Beehive... I only smoke banana peels, thanks.
that is pretty strange, considering how many saltines you had... the sodium alone should've stopped you from peeing for the rest of the week.
i know this seems like a good way to save, but c'mon man, make yourself some sandwiches at home or cook a giant pot of pasta and eat it for 3 days or somethin...
even vegetables or fruits and stuff.. I guess you are in NYC but can't you get those cheap somewhere?
(I heard the trashcans in orthodox Jewish neighborhoods are good, all the food is separated, so it's like your own little supermarket, except that... it's in the trash..)
I'm fighting an uphill battle of laziness, Gwiz. Besides, dipping is FUN!!! Will have to remember that about the Orthodox Jews, though. How thoughtful of them to think of the bums when they throw stuff out.
hehe, i'm pretty sure that's not why they do it, but let's be extra nice and say it is ;)
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