Monday, February 12, 2007

"Spit and Boobies," or, My Night On Broadway

So, Girlfriend and I caught the "hot, new Broadway sensation" last night, otherwise known as Spring Awakening. It's based on a play from the late 1800's by this guy named Frank Wedekind and it's about students in a strict German school who discover their sexuality and lust and so on and so forth. Anyway, they've taken this play and "rock n' rolled" it up a bit by adding modern-sounding pop songs as it's score and loosening up the story to the point that it's kind of like a bunch of semi-connected scenes rather than an actual narrative. I get what they were doing with it, I do (very conceptual) but, eh. It ended up, actually, giving off a strong 90210 vibe, what with it's tales of teenage pregnancy, abusive parents, unrequited teenage lust, etc. Pretty sure that's not what they were going for.

Fortunately, a somewhat trite story was the only problem to be found in Spring Awakening. The songs were uniformly kick-ass and the actors were all quite talented, as well as just stupidly attractive. The production it's self certainly looked good; it had a very nifty staging with all the usual trapdoors and hanging platforms that you expect for your Broadway dollar. My opinion, overall: It was good, not great. Not quite as "explosive" as some people are saying and it's for sure not "the next RENT;" I don't know where the hell people are getting that from, other than that they both have rock music in them. But what do I know? People up here are going ten kinds of apeshit for Spring Awakening and that's just fine with me. I've seen way worse shows get the lavish, critical treatment, so, whatever.

What was particularly of note about last night was our seats. Being as how Girlfriend and I are perpetually on the brink of financial ruin (okay, I am perpetually on the brink of financial ruin, Girlfriend is just fine) we always go for the cheap seats when we hit up a Broadway show. Usually that means we're in the last row of the theater, behind a concrete barrier, and are asked to work the spotlight for a few minutes while the technician goes out for a smoke. We're fine with this. We're seeing a show for 30$ that most people are paying 150$ for, even if we do have to sweep the stage up afterwards and occasionally perform in some minor chorus roles. The cheap seats at Spring Awakening, however, are quite a different story. They're on the stage. And I mean, literally, on the stage with the actors. See:

See where it says "Stage" and see the seats on either side of that? That was us, on the right there. The actors were all around us, sitting next to us, climbing on the wall behind us; we were as immersed in the show as is humanly possible without having a background in vocal training and modern dance. It was, in a word, neat. Other thoughts:

- Broadway actors spit a lot. I mean, a lot. I know that it's just because they have to super-enunciate to be heard clearly all over the theater, plus they're all "in the moment" and what not, but still. We're talking great clouds of expectoration here. It's hard to concentrate on the story when, during a big confrontation between two of the leads, the only thing you can think is, "Oh man, that one guy just totally horked all over the other dude's jacket and now it's just hanging there. Eeewww!"

- The one flaw in the otherwise swell seating arrangement, one I hadn't really considered, is that all of the audio in a Broadway theater is designed to project outward, into the audience. When you're on stage, you're really not getting the full oomph of the sound design, which makes it a little hard to understand what everyone is saying. Not helping matters is the fact that the band is actually on stage, at the back. The overall effect was people singing unintelligibly in my right ear and loud, thumping rock music playing in my left. You get used to it, but still, it was a little disconcerting.

- One of the evening's highlights was the sex scene between the two leads. It was pretty hot, in that post-adolescent fumbling sort of way, and it featured some just spectacular nudity from both parties (though I wasn't exactly watching the man-ass being thrust at me). Remember, this is happening about five feet in front of me and, well, I love theater so much I can hardly stand it. Beats the hell out of a trip to Scores. Also, let me just say that boobies are awesome.

- There was this one part, near the end, where the whole cast just kind of goes nuts. It's during this big song called "Totally Fucked" and everyone is just freaking out and dancing crazy and the lights are at full power with neon everywhere and people are climbing the walls and the singing is reaching a crescendo and the music is pounding and... I was right in the middle of that. That right there is Broadway magic. Certainly worth 30$, at any rate.

- In conclusion, I'd like to reiterate that I saw boobies last night. That is all.


Blogger i like cheese said...

Thanks for the review. I've been wanting to see this for a while--the boobie factor definitely ups my chances of talking the boyfriend into accompanying me.

10:33 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Glad to help. It's a good show; definatly worth seeing, boobies or no boobies.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Beehive Hairdresser said...

I wanted to see this play before I read about boobies live onstage, and boobies can add volumes of greatness to a bad show...take the Donkey Show for instance...

11:10 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I actually work with a guy who was in Donkey Show (he was a nymph or something) and he's told me it was pretty much just a big excuse to score really good coke, set to disco music.

Not relevent to the current topic, but still.

12:04 PM  
Blogger Beehive Hairdresser said...

I used to be apart of a show that went on after the Donkey Show Thursday nights...I always arrived early for the boobies - I am a simple man.

12:56 PM  
Blogger i like cheese said...

I was hoping there was a simple explanation like that..other than that you actually paid money to go see the Donkey Show of your own free will.


1:46 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I can't imagine what it was like going on AFTER Donkey Show. That place must have smelled like a hot Astroglide and dance belts. Also, I bet everything was covered in glitter.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Beehive Hairdresser said...

Everyone was too scared of the owners to worry about the glitter.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Anthony said...

Come for the boobies, stay for the donkey show.

6:09 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home