Saturday's Hero: The Drunk Biker

Whether hitting people with a pool cue in a roadhouse near Houston, or pounding Everclear-laced shots of JD while leaning against his bike near a Louisiana swap, this guy is always one hundred percent at the top of his game. Sure, he might smell a bit off and he might talk a bit crude... that's part of his charm. We love the Drunk Biker because he'll always back your play in a bar fight, because he can grill a steak better than Bobby Flay, and because he'll come pick you up when your car breaks down no matter what time of night or how high his blood-alcohol content, as long as you don't mind riding pillion. He'll probably fix your car too, after he sobers up.

So to you, Drunk Biker, a glass is raised. A glass full to the brim with White Lightning. You've earned it!