Tuesday, December 26, 2006

No More Ham

Just wanted to apologize to everyone; there's no more ham left for the remainder of your holiday parties, suppers and other assorted festive events. The reason? I ate it all. Sliced, cubed, served in salads, on rolls, or just thrust into my greasy maw by the fistfull, I took the nation's ham supply out on the lawn and kicked it's porky ass. Again, sorry, and I'm sure you can all make do with turkey until the ham market bounces back.
No, wait, I ate all the turkey too.


Blogger Justin said...


A: You have a fantastic blog! I'm really glad I found it out here in cyberspace, nestled inbetween the "Zamphir Fights Shatner" blog and the "Zoolander Fights Shuckey" blog.

B: I regret your decision to eat all of the Christmas ham, as I would very much like to have had some.

C: I have a strong controlling interest in the nation's Marshmallow Fruit Salad supply, if you'd be interested in some kind of dividend barter.

I can't wait to keep reading.


12:14 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Justin... Thanks, man. I know that Zamphir Vs. Shatner site is hard to leave, but I do appreciate your stopping by. Also, I'm interested in discussing your stronghold of Marshmallow Fruit Salad. Confidentially, I've got the Potato Salad Czar and the Emperor of All Dinner Rolls in my back pocket. With your help, soon we shall control all of holiday meals from now until... FOREVER!!!

4:51 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Did you eat all the veggies and produce, as well?

There was nothing but empty shelves at my local grocer. People told me that their grocery stores were empty as well.

I thought it was due to our blizzard, but maybe you're the culprit.

5:30 PM  

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