Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Movie Poster A Go-Go: High Five

Here I am, mock you like a hurricane:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I know I'm in the minority here, but I never really got the whole Harry Potter thing. I tried reading the first book in the series once and it seemed to me to be just okay. Not bad, of course, but not worth the ridiculously blown-out adoration that's been heaped upon it. Anyway, that being said, the poster for the new movie looks pretty good; creepy and dark, which is how all childrens fare should be. And it's nice that one of the creatures from The Descent managed to find some more work.


Good god... just seeing this movie will guarentee that you'll never know the touch of a woman ever again. So powerfully nerdy; This poster was clearly thought up by a bunch of guys (and only guys) that write a lot of Krull fanfics and spend every spare minute perfecting their kick-ass costumes for the Ren faire. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but still... this poster makes me think of sad basements full of Sci-Fi novel collections, full-sized posters of Storm from X-men and a collection of action figures rivaled in scope and depth only by their owner's quiet desperation. Don't think that's what the producers were hoping to bring to mind here.

Hot Fuzz

Of course, I can't really harsh on the nerds too much when I'm dancing around in an excited panic because the makers of Shaun of the Dead are putting out another film. This time, they're exploring the tropes of the buddy-cop genre and this poster, a take on every slick action movie poster ever made, is spot on. Bonus points for the British policeman's hat that's so square it's hip. Look for these to start appearing on the heads of Williamsburg residents any day now.

Black Christmas

Sweet Jesus... ow, ow OW!!! Looking at this poster makes my eyes feel like they just got their asses kicked in a bar fight. In fact, this just might be the ugliest poster I've ever seen. Or, rather, would have seen, were my eye-sockets not filling up with blood due to the poster's sharp, pointy vileness. Side note: my boy Buzz at Camp Blood saw an advance screening of this and said it's nearly unwatchable.

Smokin' Aces

The poster design it's self isn't horrible, but they did get the title wrong. It's supposed to be called Douchebags With Guns, Lotsa Guns, and We'll Swear A Lot Because We're Edgy. And if there's a take in this longer than 10 seconds, I'll eat my hat. My British policeman's hat. That's right... I'm gettin' this trend off the ground!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

First off, I'm glad I'm not the only one who cried tears of happy, happy joy when I found out about Hot Fuzz. If it's anything as witty and Shaun of the Dead, I'll be in heaven! That being said...

Pathfinder? What the hell is that? Did some D&D lover with a history major vomit a screenplay? I'll have to investigate that one (not that I'm interested...not at all...)

And Smokin' Aces seems like the same movie about a group of hard-edged, gun-toting bad guys doing some bad things to rocking music with fighting and betrayal and crap...I'm just bored with it...maybe if, instead of Guns, they used kisses, I might be less bored. Even the poster bores me. And Ryan Reynolds and Alicia Keys with guns? Might be worth a drunk party rental...MAYBE...

Hey amigo, have a great weekend


12:32 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Yeah, Smokin' Aces just smacks of trying too hard. Which sucks because the director, Joe Carnahan, was the man behind the awesome movie Narc, which got totally ignored by everyone.

Have a good weekend yourself. Eat lot of food and nap. Those are my plans, anyhoo.

12:45 PM  
Blogger d said...

so, i too was an unfan of the harry potter series. i had the exact same reaction to book one as you did. then, a friend convinced me to read book 4. omg, seriously one of the best books i've ever devoured. and i was converted.

i'm wetting my pants in gleeful anticipation of hot fuzz.

6:41 PM  

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