Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday Morning Hodgepodge

Ah, Friday... end of the workin' week... time to kick back and drink a large quantity of beer with your friends and maybe talk to that pretty girl standing all by herself over by the dart boards. Maybe make a real connection with her as two human beings living in [the city you live in]. And, hey, you never know, maybe she'll invite you back to her place for some "coffee" which is actually code for "doin' it like springtime weasels." Be careful, though... she's got what appears to be an Adam's apple and her hands are large enough to comfortably palm a basketball. Also, she needs a shave. And she's not even wearing a dress... dude, the bartender just called her "Jimmy." She's just a guy chilling in the bar who's got next on darts. Why'd you think he was a girl when he's clearly a burly bald man who works as a Foreman at a construction sight? You really need to watch it with the drinking... maybe it's time to think about rehab...

Anyway, my point is that it's Friday and isn't that fine? Of course, seeing as how I've not worked all week and have, in fact, barely even put on pants, I'm less excited about the weekend than, for instance, you. But still.

Speaking of my joblessness... because I know you're all so fucking concerned... things are pretty much still the same. Actually, they're a little better than that; some prospects have shown up and they do indeed look promising. Better to not get all excited about them, though. Don't want to get my hopes sky high, only to see them crash to the ground like a trapeze artist who thought he could handle some tequila shooters before the big show. Drinking hard liquor before balancing on a thin rope stretched between two buildings is no way to die. Be smart when you're on the high-wire, kiddos. And keep your fingers crossed for your ol' pal C-dog. Perhaps soon we can put this ugliness behind us.

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Flipping through the channels last night, we ended up on the GAC network, which is a place where all the latest country music videos are shown. Something told me to hold up a second and I did and... much to my surprise... the next country music video was the new single from Darius Rucker, who, if you'll remember, once fronted the popular 90's band Hootie & The Blowfish. Apparently, dude's gone country. And not with any aplomb, judging by the video. I mean, he's still got a nice voice and everything, but yeesh... bland song, he looked uncomfortable being surrounded by so many racists, and the whole things smacked of him desperately needing to make a house payment. However, it did whomp me upside the head with a tasty, cheesy slice of junior high nostalgia. Yes, I was a Hootie & The Blowfish fan. I even saw them in concert at the Starplex arena in Fort Worth when I was fourteen or fifteen. We had lawn seats and were TOTALLY badass because we went with my girlfriend at the time's older brother and WEREN'T dropped off by my mom in a mini-van because we're not babies, HA, suck it, other teenagers!!!

But yeah, so is this the new trend? 90's stars starting over on the country and western scene? Like, Jakob Dylan in a Stetson and Rob Thomas singing about honky tonks and Cadillacs? I'd be totally down with that, of course... for one thing, it would be hilarious... but, you know, just curious.

Oh, hey, remember that band Nixon? They had that one song "Sister?" I saw them at Starplex too. Good times...

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Wow, that game last night, am I right? Classic sports moment. Made me wish I was a Red Sox fan, where occasionally miracles do happen, as opposed to being a Mets fan, where missing the playoffs on the last day of the season is becoming a baseball tradition right up there with eating hot dogs and hiring Dominicans to handle all your pitching needs.

I'm rooting for the Rays to make it to the series... I like the whole "outhouse to the penthouse" motif they're rocking... but no matter. Watching the Sox come back like that was pretty breathtaking, regardless of the team you support. Well, okay, I'm sure hardcore Tampa Bay fans probably weren't too thrilled with it, but you know what I mean.

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Guess that's it. I have a job interview in a couple of hours, so I'm going to go get ready for that. Few beers to calm my nerves, huff some spray paint to make me awesome, then slap on some makeup and dig out my fuck-me pumps from the closet and this mother is ready to ROCK. Look out, employed America... the bitch is back!

Me, I'm the bitch, is what I'm saying. Not sure if I was being clear.

4 Comments:

Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

When you’re jobless, EVERY night is Friday night!

The Rays??? Are you out of your fucking mind? A boring team representing a boring city.

For your interview, dab a little beer behind each ear. It’ll show ‘em you mean business.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Buena suerte on the job interview!

11:24 AM  
Blogger mmyers said...

I'm really wanting to quit my job too but I'm waiting to see how everything goes for you. So I hope you get the job so I can confidently quit mine.

And also good luck.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Quin Browne said...

hope the job interview went well... did you remember to put your pants on?

7:14 PM  

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