Sunday, October 12, 2008

8 More Examples Of Pop Culture-Themed Religious Flair

NOTE: Since it's Sunday and all, why don't we crack open the ol' Facebook and see what's doing with some new, pop culture-themed religious flair? Hallelujah!!!

Milk Jesus

Ah, the granddaddy of jokey religious pop culture appropriations. Before flair even existed, the "Got Jesus?" slogan could be seen on youth group t-shirts and bible camp fliers as far back as 1993. And, truthfully, it's a classic for a reason... it calls immediately to mind a popular ad campaign without having to stretch for it AND it gets the Jesus-point across without being too pedantic about the whole thing. If only they could figured out a way to make Jesus into the shape of an Absolut bottle, they'd have all their mid-to-late 90's magazine advertising bases covered.

Bailout Jesus

Turning now from the distant past to the immediate future... Here we have a piece of flair that posits Jesus as the catch-all answer to our global fiscal woes, which is kind of rubbing salt into the wound (stigmata?) seeing as how lots of people are currently going apeshit over our economy's Hindenburg-eque crash and burn and might not find jokey-jokes about their situation all that funny. However, I do see the creator of this button's point; Jesus DOES have a post-grad degree in Applied Economics from Yale and probably could help us out if he wanted to.

Cellular Faith

Sort of clever, I guess, but here's my question: What do the other four signal bars represent? Are those like the growing levels of faith, and if so, shouldn't they be crosses too? Or do you only get a cross-shaped signal bar when you're standing right next to a tower in a part of town with no dead spots and you're not moving around at all and there's no weather interference whatsoever? I'm not sure exactly what the tower, the dead spots, the moving around, and the weather interference represent in this tortured faith-is-like-cellular-reception metaphor are supposed to represent and that's my point. This piece of flair raises far too many questions for such a bland visual joke.

Awkwardly Worded Drink-Themed Jesus 1

"It was you who he died for." Really? I'm not disputing the claim so much as the syntax... it's much easier and, frankly, much more correct to say "he died for you," as opposed to the awkward phrasing in question. This is what we in the petty flair criticism business refer to as "a stretch." Seriously, I mean I get what you're trying to do, but this button sounds like it was written by an ESL student trying to make friends on his first day in the country.

Awkwardly Worded Drink-Themed Jesus 2

Okay, this guy needs to stop... the whole "drink names are actually inspirational slogans" was at best a well-intentioned but ultimately futile effort and, at worst, a failure that disproves the existence of God. I'm sorry, but "Meant to die" isn't even CLOSE to "Mountain Dew." Sure, they share some of the same letters, but so do "cattle drive" and "castrated dentist," but I wouldn't go about using one to prove the existence of the other. ALSO... the usage of the word "meant" in the phrase leaves it open to too much interpretation; Jesus meant to die for you, but he was too busy playing Halo 3 with John the Baptist and totally forgot. But he swears to his dad that he'll die for you next week, soon as he gets paid.

Push-Button Jesus

Now that's just insulting. There are millions of people out there who have suffered for their faith... struggled night and day to reconcile the way the feel about the world with the way they feel about the Lord... studied the Bible, tried to take it's teachings to heart, fallen from grace, gotten back up and tried again and again, hoping they'll be forgiven for their transgressions of the soul. But apparently, those people were fucking idiots. Because all you got to do is go punch the big, red Jesus button and you'll be filled up to the tippy-top with good ol' fashioned, feels-like-a-hug, love for the lord! It's just that easy!!! Morons trying to understand their beliefs... just push the button! It's the Jesus Button! Just push it!!!

Texting Slang Jesus

Because if there's one thing that comes to mind when I think about Jesus dying on the cross, it's, "man, I wonder if he's a big fan of Gossip Girl?" Turns out, HE TOTALLY IS!!! OMG did you see that one episode, Jesus, when... they... told a lot of gossip... about girls... look, I don't watch the show but I think my point is clear: If anything, Jesus is a fan of LOST (he's a sucker for online interactivity in his TV shows) or at the very least, Heroes (he's hoping the dude from Gilmore Girls gives him a shout-out). Oh and he loves Law & Order: Special Victims Unit too, because even spiritual deities think Mariska Hargitay is a babe.
Atheism Flair

I wanted to throw this one in here right at the end for a couple of reasons... one, we hadn't had a good computer one yet, and two, I'd just like to point out that your Atheists and Agnostics can be wiseacres with the flair application too. And this one is sort of clever, I guess... a bit obvious, but there's really only so much to work with in the area of religious-themed pop culture pieces of flair to begin with so... I guess... kudos. I don't know. I'm not sure what the point is, though. God doesn't exist... okay, awesome. Why put it on a button? With the Jesus-folk, I get it, they're trying to strengthen their flock and turn people on to what's basically a positive guide to living one's life (even if it does more often than not get wildly misused as a weapon of hate). But with the Atheists... what are you trying to get people to do? Go, "yeah, man, right on!" Then what? Exactly. There's no flock to strength, no dogma to indoctrinate, no nothing... basically you're just convincing people that it's okay to sleep in on a Sunday. Which I'm all for, of course, but it hardly seems worth the effort of creating a silly button on the internet.


Blogger LSL said...

Awesome WTF effect!

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Best post in a while! Tre funny.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

It's the Jesus Button! Just push it!!!

That is supposed to be sexual, right? I sure hope so because it totally gave me a boner.

9:34 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Wal-Mart has these series of Jesus T-shirts that just came out.

They really weird me out when I see them.

10:51 PM  
Blogger Jason Quinones said...

that meant to die one is just f-ing bizarre!!! i hate the whole "fire and brimstone" angle of religious flair.

"got milk" gags are the new "NOT!" jokes. that shit needs to die!

it needs to die like jesus!

10:24 AM  
Blogger Liöüx said...

Okay. I must be out of the loop. Who is this 'Jesus' person everyone seems to be talking about.

11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Awkwardly Worded Drink buttons are just plain stupid. I like the brb one.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Jason Quinones said...

in answer to lioux's question:

jesus is a mythical unicorn that grants wishes to all the good little girls and boys of the world by hiding chocolate eggs under their pillows in the middle of the night!!

and what da fuck does "brb" mean?

11:43 AM  

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