Friday, October 03, 2008

Friday Morning Hodgepodge

So, today is my third-to-last day here at Sucky Job Inc. Why I decided to put in my two-week notice on a fucking Tuesday is, frankly, a question for those much smarter than I to answer... I know not what I do, usually because I've been drinking... but nonetheless. I've got three days left and, let me tell ya, kiddos, this burning off of time has just been BRUTAL. "Excruciating," would be another word I'd use, as well as "boring," "dull," and, oddly enough, "muffin-esque," although that's probably because I've been eating a lot of muffins lately (Newsflash: They're delicious!). I feel like I'm just sitting here, staring at my computer screen, pretending to work when in all actuality I'm listening to albums on imeem and trying to figure out if anyone would actually care if I just put my head down on my desk and conked out for a couple of hours. I wouldn't snore, promise, and I'd try to keep the sleep-poots to a minimum (no promises there, though... all them muffins ain't sitting too well). This is, no joke, the largest-scale exercise in futility in which I've ever participated and it is making me feel like my soul is rotting in the crawlspace of a serial killer clown's murder shack out near an abandoned oil refinery somewhere in the deserts of West Texas.

On the upside, however, Office-Mate Andrew is taking me out for delicious pizza today, and then a bunch of people are going to buy me liquor sometime next week, so... you know... I got THAT going for me. (I also plan on stealing all their wallets, but they don't know that yet, so keep it under your hat)

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After pitching a big fit about not caring about last nights VP debates, about how I was going to watch my "stories" as per usual, about how neither candidates really did it for me anyway and them talking for two hours about stuff I don't really understand sounded like the most boring thing on the planet outside of... well, outside of waiting around for my two-week notice to run it's course... after ALL THAT... I, of course, ended up watching the debate last night. It was pretty dull, though I was consistently amused by the inherent comedic timing of this repeated sequence: a shot of Joe Biden, speaking well on whatever topic was at hand, wearing his simple, American flag pin, followed immediately by a shot of Sarah Palin, doing whatever it was that she was doing, wearing an American flag pin large enough to qualify as government-subsidised housing. She might not have exactly been Thomas Paine up there, but she goddamn sure by golly wore her FREEDOM!!! Whatever, I thought it was funny. Oh, and I'm pretty sure the pin grew larger every time she made a point without too obviously checking the crib sheet taped to her arm, but it also shrunk every time she mispronounced "nuclear," so at the end it was just kind of a wash.

One other thing... and I'm sure (or at least I HOPE) I'm not going to be the only one to point this out today, but just so I know it gets said by someone... the big story today seems to be that Sarah Palin didn't do as badly as everyone thought she would and, I don't know, didn't bust into tears and/or hose down the stage with fear-pee. That's fine and all, but... hey, America... we shouldn't elect officials to public office because they managed to clear the lowest bar imaginable. Seems to me, it'd be a good idea to get some of those brainiac, smarty-pants, Ivy-League geniuses who AREN'T LIKE US... they're BETTER than us... because, you know, maybe, possibly, there's a chance they wouldn't run our country into the ground like a crashing stunt plane at a county fair. Just a thought.

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If you happen to be looking for a new album with which to while away your time, I can't recommend strongly enough "Stay Positive" by The Hold Steady, which, yes, is a band I've gone on about quite a bit during the run of this blog. In case you haven't been paying attention, that means they're banana bonkers wonderful and if you enjoy songs about drinking heavily with your friends during your youth and songs about drugs and psychic girlfriends and murder out in the woods then, boy howdy, this is an album with your name ALL over it. Also, not to put too fine a point on it or anything, but it fucking rocks. Hard.

So yeah... "Stay Positive" by The Hold Steady. Check it out one time, won't you?

Oh, and here’s a link to a clip of them performing the album's first single on Letterman. It kicks Dave's ass. The video quality is a little sketchy, but the audio is good enough to suit our purposes.

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Last thing I'll mention... on the subway this morning, there was a middle-aged businesswoman CLIPPING HER FINGERNAILS like that wasn't the grossest thing you can do in public outside of shitting in a bucket while crying on a dead baby. Lady, c'mon... I might have holes in my clothes and I might smell like rotgut whiskey bought on sale and I might just generally look like a cleaned-up hobo recently released from detox, but you... you make garbage look like a high school Valedictorian with a full ride to Yale. I hope you, at minimum, get hit in the face with a shovel.

Whew... sorry. Getting that out feels WAY better, though, like a hot bowl of chili on a cold, Winter's day.

8 Comments:

Blogger ML said...

you have pretty good taste in music. i liked Mates of State a lot, too.

great job.

10:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've twice seen people clipping their nails on the subway (F-train). That shit is ridiculous. I'm a pretty confrontational person but the one time I had the opportunity it was this 16-17 yr. old Japanese girl with like 3 friends (speaking Japanese) and I wasn't about to be that guy. Just gave dirty looks. That crap blows my mind.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

'grossest thing you can do in public outside of shitting in a bucket while crying on a dead baby' = awesomeness!

Ha ha.

I have four [FOUR!] friggin' people who clip their nails at their desks at work.

It makes me want to vom.

I have to leave the room.

4:13 PM  
Blogger M said...

far, far worse than witnessing the public nail-clipping is later stepping on the clippings in your bare feet. it's like being stung by tiny little grime-filled bees.

4:32 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

... we shouldn't elect officials to public office because they managed to clear the lowest bar imaginable.

AGREED!

7:43 PM  
Anonymous J. said...

I was also pretty bored by the debates. I fully expected either that Palin would say something unbelievably dumb or that Biden would slip up and call her "sweet tits". Apropos of nothing, the baseball playoffs have started, and the gambling has begun. if the Angels don't pull their heads out of their asses I'll have to grow a mustache until Thanksgiving.

9:28 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

ML... Thanks! The Hold Steady has become a bit of an obsession these days. I've listened to the aforementioned album, as well as "Boys and Girls in America" at least once a day, every day, for the last two weeks. And, oddly enough, the only other album I've been listening to steadily is Mates of States "Re-Arrange Us." So there you go.

Anon... I know, right? It's like how can someone be so into themselves that they think doing shit like that is okay? Baffling.

Big Daddy... I would leave the room, then come back with a shotgun.

M... True, but it's kind of your own fault for walking around barefoot on the subway.

Todd... Right on!!!

J... That's rough, dude. Although, I don't know, the Angels in the post-season are a pretty dicey proposition these days. Then again, I had the Cubs picked to go all the way, so who am I to judge?

10:40 AM  
Blogger TFKoP said...

Clipping Nails in public: Hmmmm...that's bad, eh? So, have I been committing a social faux pas by flossing my teeth at the table after eating a heavy meal of meat at my local restaurant? Or maybe the flossing was okay, but I probably stepped over the line pulling out a toothbrush and using the ewer of water on my table to brush my teeth too.

I'm so socially inept.

The debate on Thursday: my favorite part was when Palin called Joe Biden "Senator O'Biden". I guess she was told to talk like she was Irish and that would secure the Irish vote.

And as a VP, Sarah would Palin comparison to Joe Biden. Get it?? Palin? Pale in? haha... i kill me.


--TFKoP

1:33 PM  

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