Thursday, June 12, 2008

Funk (Not Like Bootsy Collins)

I'm usually Mr. Sunshine, happy-go-lucky, farting starbeams at a laughing cupid all flying around on a cartoon folk song dragon named "Love." Today though... blah... I don't know. Today, I'm in a funk. Dark clouds and apathy puddles and a thick, creamy smear of foreboding that feels like a wool suit on an August afternoon. I'm sweating gloom, kiddos. And I don't know why, either... that's what really gets my goat.

I mean, work is kind of lame. I'm over it, but who isn't over their jobs? Besides those people that actually love what they do, of course, but I'm not a hundred percent sure that those people exist. They're like the Yeti. But yeah... my job. Whatever. That's all I have to say about it... whatmotherfuckingever.

Other than that, stuff is pretty great. So what gives? Why am I funkalicious in all the wrong ways?

That wasn't a rhetorical question; I'm asking you, the readers, the ones who know me better than anyone else with the exception of Girlfriend, who wins because obviously. I need to know what's up with this because... no joke... me being in a funk is totally unacceptable.

I feel like a Leonard Cohen song up in here.

13 Comments:

Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

I'm kind of funky today too. But the thought of drinking tomorrow is keeping me going!

12:22 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

You can't be up all the time bro. You need the down periods to make the good times even better.

Don't sweat the blues. You'll pop out of it in no time. When in doubt, look at boobies. They never fail me.

12:42 PM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

There is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.... signed William Shakespear

12:44 PM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

Damn did Shakespear just use my blog to comment on Zombie fights Shark? That is so awesome!

12:48 PM  
Anonymous JustinS said...

I hate the Pollyanna "cheer up little camper" shit when I'm in a funk. I say wallow in it.

And...

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life.

1:21 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

you just need a good fire drillin' is all!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Brooklyn... DRINKING!!!

Todd... BOOBIES!!!

Bill... SHAKESPEARE!!!

Bill... IDENTITY THEFT!!!

Justin... PYTHON!!!

Jason... FIRE DRILLIN'!!!

3:56 PM  
Blogger i i eee said...

I'm also feeling the slunk of funk right now. It sucks.

Thank goodness for Sean Connery in his red man-diaper.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous J. said...

I lived in Hawaii for three years and sometimes I'd get into a bit of a funk and actually be angry that the weather wouldn't cooperate with my mood. Was one cold, drizzly day too much to ask? In Hawaii, yes. The sun shines there even when it rains. Don't get me wrong, I loved Hawaii and I look forward to going back, but I think we need a little down time to appreciate the up time. We don't question it it when we feel happy for no reason, do we?

1:00 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

If Hawaii was a person, I'd totally have sex with it. It's that awesome.

11:58 AM  
Blogger mmyers said...

I'm sure the girl who sits behind me at work would have some astrological reason. Me, I blame having to work for The Man.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Ivey said...

Hello!
I'm your cousin Joss' friend.
I was gonna save this until I had finished all of your blog, but it turns out this is as far as I'm going to get on your birthday.
I just wanted to let you know that Joss reccomended your blog to me and I've been reading it for days from the Beggining, April, of '06, to here. And haven't stopped. It's kept me from going into a funk for weeks and it's incredibly well written. Happy Birthday, best of luck, etc. etc. ^_^

11:32 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Ivey... Hey, glad you're enjoying it! Nothing helps bust up a funk like a bunch of fart jokes. Tell Joss I said hello.

-C

8:15 AM  

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