Thursday, June 05, 2008

Temple Of Meat, Take Two



Okay, so tonight, for real this time, Girlfriend and I are going to the aforementioned Temple of Meat. The anticipation is bouncing around inside me like a crystal meth bungee jumper and it's making the very act of sitting at my desk and pretending to work EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. Just knowing that all that meat is out there, beckoning to me like a lover... goddamn, my heart is pounding like a Neil Pert drum solo.

Allow me, my nerdlettes, to list for you the meats that will be available for our (Girlfriend and I; you're not invited) face-cramming pleasure:

Short Ribs
Rib Eye Steak
Pork Ribs
<--- Nothing sexier than a woman gnawing on a rib bone
Sausage
Top Round
<--- No time for love, Dr. Jones! Who's with me???
Top Sirloin
Baby Beef
<--- Awwww... That's sad and delicious
Prime Beef
Ham
<---- But it's not Christmas!!!
Flank Steak
Suckling Pig
<--- I'm going to eat the snout
Chicken Legs
Chicken Hearts
<--- Gross, but also awesome
Turkey Wrapped in Bacon
Lamb
Salmon
<--- What's fish doing on here? That's not meat!

Yeah, so obviously we're pretty stoked. If we leave the restaurant tonight under our own power, then we will have failed. I want to be hauled out in a greasy wheelbarrow, my lady by my side, in her own greasy wheelbarrow. That's love, folks. Tasty, tasty love.

Full report tomorrow, no doubt.

Oh, and yes, I am again wearing a tie. My work photographer isn't here today (the bastard), so you'll just have to take my word on the fact that I look fucking amazing. My tie is pink. PINK!!! Can you imagine? God, you don't know what you're missing, not seeing me right now...

You poor, poor people...

(he looks like a fat guy ate Carson Kressly, don't get too excited)

9 Comments:

Anonymous JustinS said...

Fucking Nirvana.

The place/state, not the band.

Unless, we're talking about the pre-Courtney Love days. Then I suppose the comparison works.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I've always thought of Nirvana as the meatiest of the grunge-movement bands. Parenthetically, The Grungy Meats would be an excellent band name.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

I think Animal's band from The Muppets was into meat. I don't know why I think this way though. Maybe I ate meat while I watched that as a kid. Maybe I was abused by meat. Who knows?

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I can confirm that Clint has now worn a tie to work 2 straight days...i repeat, TWO STRAIGHT DAYS!! and no hat either! when he came in with a tie on yesterday I assumed he was going on a job interview after work.

Cubicle-mate Andrew

4:11 PM  
Anonymous JustinS said...

The Grungy Meat = Great porn name, too.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Give 'Em Hell Harry said...

Do you have to order a particular meat or this just an all you can gorge buffet of meaty goodness? If it's all you can eat, I fear for your safety. No man can resist that much charred animal flesh.

5:29 PM  
Anonymous The Grungy Meats said...

You'll be hearing from our lawyers.

Check out the new single being dropped next month: "Makin bacon on the beach"

5:38 PM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

"Meat its what vegetarians eat when they cheat"

7:14 PM  
Blogger SARAHSPY said...

this sounds downright magical. pink tie included. haha.

11:41 AM  

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