Making This A Better Blog For Us
NOTE: In an effort to be the best blog on the Internet and, thus, earn me a place in pop culture history as well as a lifetime supply of Cheeze-Its, I've decided to unveil a string of new features that will take this site, as well as all of us, to "the next level." I don't know what "the next level" is, exactly, but I'm hoping that once there, I'll receive some cash prizes.
Webcams - Ever wondered what it's like at the Casa Del C-dog? Well wonder no more! We're talking 24/7, all-live, all-the-time webcams that capture all the action as Girlfriend and I harass our cat, watch Top Chef, and eat enough Fla-Vor-Ices to send a triathlete into a diabetic coma.
Contests - Exciting prizes are waiting for you! By simply entering your name, credit card information and PIN number, you'll become eligible for... stuff! You could be the proud owner of the shirt that the mouse died on! You could win the right to buy me a drink! You could even be the lucky reader that gets a chance to find out just what it's like to fistfight a drunken me in a dark alley somewhere on the Lower East Side!
Margarita Machine - I'm going to figure out how to make it happen, I swear!
Porn - Look, it's hard coming up with new stuff every day, plus, it's soon going to be discovered that I'm not that talented. I think the pressure would be off me a lot more if there was some hot ass wiggling around here a few times a week. Men and women; I'm not going to discriminate.
Leek Spin - I promise that there will be a marked increase in the appearance of Leek Spin. I really regret that I've been slacking off in that department, so I'm vowing here and now to change my ways.
Webcams - Ever wondered what it's like at the Casa Del C-dog? Well wonder no more! We're talking 24/7, all-live, all-the-time webcams that capture all the action as Girlfriend and I harass our cat, watch Top Chef, and eat enough Fla-Vor-Ices to send a triathlete into a diabetic coma.
Contests - Exciting prizes are waiting for you! By simply entering your name, credit card information and PIN number, you'll become eligible for... stuff! You could be the proud owner of the shirt that the mouse died on! You could win the right to buy me a drink! You could even be the lucky reader that gets a chance to find out just what it's like to fistfight a drunken me in a dark alley somewhere on the Lower East Side!
Margarita Machine - I'm going to figure out how to make it happen, I swear!
Porn - Look, it's hard coming up with new stuff every day, plus, it's soon going to be discovered that I'm not that talented. I think the pressure would be off me a lot more if there was some hot ass wiggling around here a few times a week. Men and women; I'm not going to discriminate.
Leek Spin - I promise that there will be a marked increase in the appearance of Leek Spin. I really regret that I've been slacking off in that department, so I'm vowing here and now to change my ways.
posted by Clinton at 12:56 PM
11 Comments:
Speaking of changes and improvements...noticed that you took your profile pic and went all Chuck Close on us. Nice touch.
You should have Man Candy Mondays®™©™ as a regular feature.
Gal Gotham (sorry, the name's not going anywhere)... Thanks! I am constantly trying to improve the quality of ZFS! for you, the reader.
Lioux... Is that like Candyland? Because I would be in to Candyland days.
Dammit.
Now I am craving Cheeze-its.
You are evil.
You bastard, I went to leekspin thinking it was some political site delving into juicy gossip about Scooter Libby going to jail. I was completely mesmerized for three minutes. By the way, you know anyone named Scooter is in for a hard time in prison. Well back to, bad a bing bo bing bo yibby yibby bedi bedi do bo la ya tat tat ta ding lo le I mean work.
Big Daddy... I've always thought so.
David... I won't admit how much time I spend listening to the Leek Spin song because admitting it would mean I have a problem.
Webcams? You are a brave man.
Yeah, I'm always brave when I'm just kidding.
MMM. Margarita machine. That sounds like a good plan!
Porn is always nice.
Cheese... Workin' on it! Currently stuck on the Tequila Matrix, but I'll figure it out. Probably by drinking a lot of tequila.
Todd... Isn't it, though?
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