UPDATE: Hot, Hot, Heat
UPDATE: And lo, the rains did come, bringing with them the cooling winds. And C-dog did grin, for he did not feel as if someone was holding a gym sock over his face, if only for a single evening.
Probably be humid as all fuck tomorrow, though. Eh well, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
-------------------------------------------------
Ugh.
So... fucking... miserable.
My apartment, which I thought was located in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, has apparently been lifted up by aliens, flung through the air, and dropped squarely into the heart of Death Valley. Or perhaps this is the Gobi Desert. I haven't ruled out the planet Mercury, either (aliens are involved, after all). Look, what I'm trying to say is that it's been so hot in my apartment the last few days, I've seriously contemplated shoving an ice cube up my butt. While that may seem a tad excessive, let me say this: I'm really, really, really, really uncomfortably warm right now and that's caused me to A) not sleep, B) become even more cranky than I already am, and C) do... something else... I don't know... it's really hard to concentrate when you feel like you're typing a blog post at a computer terminal in Hell's Kinkos.
And what's worse, this is only the beginning. It's barely even June and I'm already considering quitting my job and getting hired somewhere as a waiter, just so I can stand for long stretches of time in a professional kitchen's industrial freezer. I know I'll get used to it eventually (the heat, I mean), as is always the case; I've lived in NYC long enough to know that's true. Still, until my DNA shifts and I become lizard-like in my ability to hang out in this gross, oppressively hot weather, life is going to suck beyond all rational comprehension and I'll be the most miserable person in the world, amen.
Sorry, the heat's melted my brain's hyperbole-blocker.
Anyway, in the spirit of trying to stay cool, here's a band from a decade gone by singing a song about, as near as I can tell, a refreshing beverage or possibly a delicious bowl of sherbet:
Probably be humid as all fuck tomorrow, though. Eh well, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.
-------------------------------------------------
Ugh.
So... fucking... miserable.
My apartment, which I thought was located in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, has apparently been lifted up by aliens, flung through the air, and dropped squarely into the heart of Death Valley. Or perhaps this is the Gobi Desert. I haven't ruled out the planet Mercury, either (aliens are involved, after all). Look, what I'm trying to say is that it's been so hot in my apartment the last few days, I've seriously contemplated shoving an ice cube up my butt. While that may seem a tad excessive, let me say this: I'm really, really, really, really uncomfortably warm right now and that's caused me to A) not sleep, B) become even more cranky than I already am, and C) do... something else... I don't know... it's really hard to concentrate when you feel like you're typing a blog post at a computer terminal in Hell's Kinkos.
And what's worse, this is only the beginning. It's barely even June and I'm already considering quitting my job and getting hired somewhere as a waiter, just so I can stand for long stretches of time in a professional kitchen's industrial freezer. I know I'll get used to it eventually (the heat, I mean), as is always the case; I've lived in NYC long enough to know that's true. Still, until my DNA shifts and I become lizard-like in my ability to hang out in this gross, oppressively hot weather, life is going to suck beyond all rational comprehension and I'll be the most miserable person in the world, amen.
Sorry, the heat's melted my brain's hyperbole-blocker.
Anyway, in the spirit of trying to stay cool, here's a band from a decade gone by singing a song about, as near as I can tell, a refreshing beverage or possibly a delicious bowl of sherbet:
posted by Clinton at 8:14 AM
16 Comments:
how is it that those of us raised in humid, hot, sticky weather suddenly are stunned by this humid, hot, sticky weather?
i walk from room to room with a fan, to make sure i have at least some cool air moving.
ohhhhhhh, look at the time! it's been an hour since my last shower! time for another one!
I for me it has a lot to do with the fact that, though I was born and raised in Texas, I was also born and raised with air conditioning. Not having that now sucks ass.
Quinn that was a dry humid.
I have a portable air conditioner you can buy. Not one of the window models one of the big roll around kind.
i was raised with one air conditioner that was located in the den... to punish us, my mawmaw would lock us out, and open the curtains on the sliding glass doors... then sit in front of it, letting the cold air blow her hair, as she sipped her iced tea and we stood outside in the new orleans heat, sweating.
ah, those were the days!
Drink lots of water!
NYC in the summer is brutal.
Do New Yorkers as a rule not believe in A/C? Or is just cost-prohibitive in a city that already costs so much to live in...?
David... Thanks, but that's okay. Money I don't have. Sadly.
Quin... Charming story.
Big Daddy... You don't have to tell me. This is my fourth go-around and I've found, generally, that they're not a lot of fun.
Giggleloop... It is 100% a money issue. Not even because the units themselves are expensive, but because it costs so much on the electric bill.
Why don't you prostitute yourself so you can at least afford a window unit you can stand in front of. Have you ever seen those neck air conditioners? Try one of them. Anyone has to be crazy not to have an airconditioner in hot humid sticky make you feel gross energy sapping turns you into fly paper weather.
I have 5 words for you...
Do not move to Miami.
David... Eh, despite the previous bitching, I've actually generally gotten used to it. Things will never be as bad as my first summer here, where I lived in and 8x12 room with no windows and no a/c. That was awful. Besides, I already prostitute myself so I can afford some delicious, delicious White Castle every now and again.
Pompomist... No plans too, though I've always wanted to visit, if only because I enjoy a well made Cuban sandwich.
The heat is brutal. I'm signing over my paycheck to ConEd now so I can live in front of my A/C until December.
I've always been able to tought it out... this year, though? Dunno. Seems that with every passing year, I become more and more of a wimp.
We'll see.
Gosh- I do not miss NYC, and I now live in Texas!!(whoo hooo central air) today it's 80F with a heat index of 100 degrees but I feel fine!
I cannot believe how much money we spent living in that bloody city. We actually bought window units,and you can actually get units that are quite cost effective and efficient. Shop around in Queens and in Brooklyn and you should find something for at least one room. Buy early- the prices mysteriously increase around July.
Cheers- Dionne
I think we're going to once again try to tough it out, but only so we can tell our kids that they've, "Got it easy compared to what your Mother and I had to go through."
Thanks, though, for reals!
just get one of those fancy fan window units and pretend your sweat is sexy, like characters in a john grisham movie. then buy foreigner cds with all of your saved money. really, you can't lose.
I've thought about getting one of those, actually. We DO have a fan, a metal, bad-ass industrial one, and it works pretty well, but those window units are pretty sweet.
Also, and I think every lady I've ever know will back me up on this, my sweat is totally sexy. They should bottle it up and sell it at Fredicks of Hollywood.
Post a Comment
<< Home