Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Here's A Picture Of A Passed-Out Lohan

Discussion Questions:
Do you feel bad for her, like, even a little bit?
She probably smells like a bar's bathroom all the time, right?
That person next to her is performing voodoo; Yes or No?
That's an AA medallion on the mirror; is the irony killing you yet?
She'll be dead by when, exactly? (feel free to place bets)
NOTE: Please show your work. Remember, you're all in direct competition with each other. 1st prize is a Cadillac Eldorado, 2nd prize is a set of steak knives, and 3rd prize is you're fired.


Blogger lioux said...


I Loathe, Loathe, Loathe Lindsay Loathehan.

The wedding Colleen and I went to last week had a LL look-a-like there.

Seriously. It was scary!

We were secretly calling her *Fauxhan* all day.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Colleen said...

I believe the person next to her is her not-so-secret lesbian lover. I hate that I know that. I think I'm trying to feel bad for LoHo but it's not really working.

2:49 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... Ew. You should have hit her up for some free drugs, though. You KNOW she had some.

Colleen... I wouldn't break a sweat over it or anything.

2:54 PM  
Blogger lioux said...

She's not even wearing her seatbelt.

Isn't that illegal?

I mean "Click It Or Ticket" already.

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel bad for her. She has all that money and she is sleeping in a car.

She probably smells like a distillery with hint of coca leaves.

The person is not performing voodoo, she wafting the fumes her way to get high. Or maybe trying to freak her out and is so stoned herself she doesn’t realize Lindsay’s eye’s are closed.

These might very well be the last words I ever write.

I bet she doesn’t make it to see the first manned mission to Mars.

3:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1)Bad? No. Indifferent? Decidedly so.

2) She probably smells like a nasty overflowing ashtray with a puddle of beer in it, that has cigarette butts floating in it.

3) No, she was captured in mid-motion as she was about to wipe her cocaine-hollowed nose on her sleeve.

4) Any AA group that would give her a medallion for sobriety should be seriously ashamed of themselves.

5) I'm going to use some mind mojo and pull a random date out of the air..... September 26th, 2007.

Let me know if I win, and I'll let you know where to forward my Cadillac to. :P

3:16 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... Buckle up for safety, BUCKLE UP!!!

David... I think you're being waaaay to generous with her longevity. I don't think she'll see Fall.

Giggleloop... I'll keep you posted on your standings, but keep in mind that when I said "Cadillac," I actually meant "Nothing whatsoever."

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

She’s in rehab I am trying to show some support here.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

All I have to say is that I am glad I didn't have paparazzi following me around between the ages of 16 and.....last year, actually.

Don't feel sorry for her though.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

David... You'll only end up with a broken heart.

Big Daddy... True dat. Were I famous in my early 20's, I'd have kept tabloids in business single-handedly.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn’t say I wanted to get into bed with her and her lesbian mesmerizer, I was only offering moral support.

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I call bs on this photo. When's the last time you passed out with a "oh, I'm passed out" expression and an eyebrow arched, your hair perfectly blown out and sporting not even a speck of vom? The correct pass-out position is: mouth drooling, head lolling on chest, finger up nose, half-chewed spew covering clothes.

It's like none of us have ever seen that "reasons not to drink" bulletin that gets posted on your myspace about once a week. Swigger, please.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ps honk if you'd do her

6:01 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

David... My new band is going to be called The Lesbian Mesmerizers.

Pigeon... (You're Pigeon until you come up with something better). That's a very good point; there is a distinct lack of vomit in the photos. Very disappointing.

Pigeon 2... Oh, I'd still totally hit that. If only to say I had. Although, I'd definitely double-bag it and, post-doin' it, I'd head straight to the clinic.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to feel bad for her, and now just pity her - especially for wearing a $1200 hoodie.

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know if you Google lesbian mesmerizers you get 387 hits, and for some strange reason they all appear to be porn related.

8:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll let you know where to forward my nothing whatsoever then. :P

9:45 PM  
Blogger quin browne said...

1. yeah, she's her parent's creation. so, i do feel for her.

2. more than likely, yes.

3. it's too sad to think about

4. walk in her shoes

5. oddly, i don't find it funny.

this is a kid who had a break or three, and parents and managers who didn't sit on her, who encouraged her to run, who ran with her... it's sadder than anything i've seen.

paris, meh. this? created by mom and dad, the people who are supposed to protect you... not make you into a freak...

makes me really, really sad.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Beehive... I don't like people who own clothing that costs more than my rent.

David... There's PORN on the INTERNET??? I'm sorry, sir, but I just don't buy it.

Giggleloop... Yes, see that you do.

Quin... This probably makes me a heartless person, and it also probably has everything to do with my own financial issues, but I have a very hard time feeling sorry for millionaires. That, to me, trumps everything else.

6:35 AM  
Blogger quin browne said...

i hear you, and i'm as poor as the rest (she said, listening to the chaos outside her bronx sublet)... for me, i see it from the parent point of view. you are what your parents create to a big point..and no one stopped her, they let her go wild.

me? i'd have beat her senseless. i've stated on my journal (you HAVE read mine, haven't you??) that my biggest compliment from my five that i raised alone was this..."when you wonder how you did, remember none of us are on cops, none of us work the pole"

it's what you put into a kid raising them that works.

i grew up around rich kids... and they weren't fucked up. my kids grew up around rich kids...and they weren't fucked up. it's the influences around them...

now, i'm off my mom soapbox...

she's a mess, and, unless this puts her in jail, where she'll be assured of a roof over her head, three meals a day, a wardrobe and a spouse... she'll be dead soon...and in jail, perhaps even sooner.

the sad thing is...again, a life wasted. it's all over, hers is just in the spotlight.

damn soapbox, keeps getting under my feet.

11:28 AM  
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3:18 PM  

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