UPDATE: Boy Scout
UPDATE: 
Just to clarify, I don't hate Boy Scouts, as in the kids that are Boy Scouts and enjoy camping and whatnot. My enmity is focused squarely on the Boy Scout organization's policy-makers. Because those guys are douchebags. Also, I was never, myself, a Boy Scout, choosing instead to spend my childhood indoors doing children's theater, where the possibility of me running across big, scary bugs was much less likely.
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Well, the Boy Scouts of America certainly dodged a bullet yesterday. What a relief! Now, with this missing-scout crisis behind them, they can get back to their day to day business of hating gay people.
Oh, but I kid the Bible-thumping, hate-filled, children's betterment institution...
Seriously though, can you imagine what would have happened if they'd found that kid dead? That would have leveled the Boy Scouts. "We teach kids how to survive in the woods... well, except for that one kid, who, when faced with a real-life situation where he could implement our methods, died of exposure and was eaten by a wolf. However, it appears that he made just a world-class Pinewood Derby car before he completely dehydrated. So that's nice."
What blows is that, since the kid didn't die, he's now the greatest marketing tool the Scouts ever had. He's basically living proof that all parents must, must, must put their kids in the Boy Scouts because, if they don't, well then they obviously hate their children and want them to die a cold and lonely death in the woods. And did I mention the wolves? I'm sure their enrollment numbers are going to be bananas for the next year, at least.
Now, I'm not saying that I wish the kid had died out there; I don't, obviously. I just wish that, when they found him, he'd gone on the record as saying, "I survived in the woods because I'm a big fan of that Survivorman show on the Discovery Channel, not because of anything I learned from these kerchief-wearing bastards. Also, I'm gay. Suck on that, Boy Scouts!!!"
Anyway, I really don't like the Boy Scouts because of their policies on homosexuals and their pesky habits of forcing God down little kid's throats. Did I make that clear?
Just to clarify, I don't hate Boy Scouts, as in the kids that are Boy Scouts and enjoy camping and whatnot. My enmity is focused squarely on the Boy Scout organization's policy-makers. Because those guys are douchebags. Also, I was never, myself, a Boy Scout, choosing instead to spend my childhood indoors doing children's theater, where the possibility of me running across big, scary bugs was much less likely.-----------------------------------------
Well, the Boy Scouts of America certainly dodged a bullet yesterday. What a relief! Now, with this missing-scout crisis behind them, they can get back to their day to day business of hating gay people.
Oh, but I kid the Bible-thumping, hate-filled, children's betterment institution...
Seriously though, can you imagine what would have happened if they'd found that kid dead? That would have leveled the Boy Scouts. "We teach kids how to survive in the woods... well, except for that one kid, who, when faced with a real-life situation where he could implement our methods, died of exposure and was eaten by a wolf. However, it appears that he made just a world-class Pinewood Derby car before he completely dehydrated. So that's nice."
What blows is that, since the kid didn't die, he's now the greatest marketing tool the Scouts ever had. He's basically living proof that all parents must, must, must put their kids in the Boy Scouts because, if they don't, well then they obviously hate their children and want them to die a cold and lonely death in the woods. And did I mention the wolves? I'm sure their enrollment numbers are going to be bananas for the next year, at least.
Now, I'm not saying that I wish the kid had died out there; I don't, obviously. I just wish that, when they found him, he'd gone on the record as saying, "I survived in the woods because I'm a big fan of that Survivorman show on the Discovery Channel, not because of anything I learned from these kerchief-wearing bastards. Also, I'm gay. Suck on that, Boy Scouts!!!"
Anyway, I really don't like the Boy Scouts because of their policies on homosexuals and their pesky habits of forcing God down little kid's throats. Did I make that clear?
posted by Clinton at 8:49 AM
15 Comments:
I was a member of Cub scout Missouri Pack 14, Den 3. All I remember about it was we made candlesticks one afternoon out of crayons (or was it the other way around?) and I did finish second in my regional Pine Wood Derby contest. I got my picture in the paper and everything.
Let me preface this by saying I was never a Boy Scout. I dont know their survival methods but from the way I heard the story, this kid is the worst boy scout ever. He got homesick and wandered off with the intention of hitchhiking home. When they found him, he was ONE MILE FROM CAMP!!! In four days, he made it one mile away. I think its more sad that with all his "training" he couldn't walk the one mile back. He simply chose to sleep in trees and drink river water.
I am an Eagle Scout.
I detest the things that the majority of the Boy Scouts believe in and do. Like the gay hating, atheist hating, and otherwise right wing policies. I hate them.
But I must say. My time in the Boy Scouts was phenomenal. My troop was comprised 100% of really cool guys. A few of them are going to be lifelong things. And we honestly learned some valuable things.
But the difference is my troop wouldn't have a problem with all this gay nonsense. They'd let him in and go about.
We liked to think of our Troop as the "bad boy" troop. We sat at scout camp and laughed at all the Hitler Youth doing the goose step to get a couple of merit badges. But all the while we were having fun on our own terms.
I got to hike 90 miles out in New Mexico with the Boy Scouts.
So I guess my point is this (if i really had one): don't hate every boy scout, just hate the national office and other troops that have those closed minded ideals.
I should make it clear that I'm fully, FULLY aware of the benifits of a Boy Scout education; I think they do a lot of good stuff for kids and for the community in general. Chris W, your experiance is a perfect example of that.
However, I do think that the policies of their national office suck ass and that's why I don't personally support their organization. Being the child of gay parents makes me paint in broad strokes sometimes, I guess. But, again, I'm not blind to the fact that there's some good to be found amongst their ranks.
I agree with hatin' on the gay hatin'. Funny that all those Boy Scouts & troop leaders and what have you couldn't find him in a one-mile radius of their campsite.
Scott and Colleen... Yeah, I don't know what's up with that. All the details aren't out yet, but it does seem like he was AWFUL close to the campsite to not be found for 4 days.
Weird. Probably aliens.
Screw scouts, send your kids to camp!
I learned how to rock climb, shoot guns, make candles out of crayons [as well], start a fire, etc., all at camp.
I hated going each year, but by the time it was time to go home, I didn't want to leave.
See, that sounds nice. I never went to normal-people camp. I always went to theater camp, which was pretty much exactly what you'd think it would be.
Namely, lame.
All I wanted was to be a boy scout because I LOVED the idea of the Pinewood Derby and wanted nothing more then to be able to participate.
Sadly, I was instead forced to be a member of my school's Girl Scout Troop that (true story) took our camping trip to the local Hilton Hotel followed by dining out at a nearby Mexican Restaurant for our Ethnic Badge. Holy Troop Beverly Hills.
~Irish
Oooh... that sounds nice. I would have fit right in with your Girl Scout troop.
Uh... I mean, I'm TOTALLY manly. Grrr...
I found that the scout that went missing, went missing while everyone was on a hike, and he and a scout leader stayed behind at their campsite for unknown reasons - to be way way out of the realm of possible.
The dude had one kid to look after at a campsite in the middle of the woods.
I smell fish.
There's something suspicious about this whole thing, actually. I mean, who's ever heard of a "North Carolina?"
Certainly not me. And I smart. BIG smart.
I completely understood what you were going for in the original post and was no offended in the least. I just thought sharing my experiences might add another dimension to this.
I just want to reiterate that I also hate the homophobic shit and the God-shovin' done by the Boy Scouts.
God-shovin'??? Thats funny.... not sure why but the phrase made me laugh.
Chris W... No, totally, I just wanted to clarify for my own sake. I wrote this post a little too fast and didn't say everything needed/wanted to.
Scott... Well, you're only human.
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