Thursday, January 25, 2007

What's On My Mind

NOTE: This isn't by any stretch of the imagination an interesting post. It's more along the lines of, to paraphrase Mean Girls, "word vomit." Just a heads up if you've got more important things you could be doing; don't change your plans for me, to paraphrase Ben Folds. I'll stop paraphrasing stuff now.

"So let me get this straight... it has snowed in Ari-fucking-zona and not here in New York? How is that supposed to make me feel? And is it possible to tell the weather to go fuck it's self for not providing the winter wonderland that I've come to expect and love from living in the Northeast?"

"I've got a really skanky taste in my mouth right now. I guess it's from all the coffee I drank this morning but... gag. It's kind of like I just inhaled in a mouthful of exhaust-pipe emissions, but it's also kind of coppery, like I've been sucking on pennies. Not pleasant. I wonder who here in the office would be kind enough to lend me gum."

"The Postal Service's 'Give Up' is the best listening-to-music-at-work album I've come across in like a million years. Or at least since I've been holding down this cubicle. It has usurped both Death Cab for Cutie's 'Transatlanticism' and Fleetwood Mac's 'Rumours' as most played and most annoying to my fellow office-mates, respectively; a rare double victory. "

"I'm surprised at how emotionally invested I've gotten in this season's Top Chef competition on Bravo. Maybe it's that I hate seeing bullies pick on a socially inept weirdo, or maybe it's just that I have way too much time on my hands (that's more likely). Anyway, I really hope that Marcel wins and I'm pretty sure that if he doesn't, I'll be sadder about that than I'll ever be about, say, stuff that's happening in the Middle East. I am a shallow, shallow man."

"Update: No one had gum, so I had to buy my own. Orbit Peppermint. It is appropriately minty and my mouth no longer tastes like the air around the 405 freeway at 5pm."

"It's been decided upon already that my girlfriend and I will be dining on burritos for dinner this evening and I'm looking forward to that way more than any normal person should. See, the burritos from our local burritory are really, really good. They've got a heavy hand with the guac and they're not stingy with the salsa either. I'm a regular there, too, which is sweet because they start preparing my order as soon as I walk in. It makes me feel like I'm a powerful politician who's got subordinates scrambling to attend to my every need. Of course, the feeling fades when I have to pay the food but, still, it's always a nice moment for me."

"I'm getting a little burned out on irony. Also snark, cattiness, hating, and just being mean for the hell of it. Not that I'm calling for an Era of Sincerity or anything. Probably just reading too much Gawker. Still... "

"The Snack Wraps at McDonalds now come in a grilled chicken variety and, to me, that seems a lot like missing the point."

"Man, now that I've bought this pack of gum, I'm pretty sure that, even though I don't want to, I'm going to chew the whole of it before the day is through. What is wrong with me?"

"Don't answer that."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Since it's cold out, you should get Burrrrrrritos.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Henny Youngman, ladies and gentlemen... big hand, big hand!!!

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

burritory = early front-runner for Word of the Year

yes for the Postal Service, great album. I found that over the years of working in photo labs, the album that never really lost its luster was Cake's "Fashion Nugget". I can't tell you how many times we listened to that over my combined.... 8 years in the photo lab industry.

then again, we also made a mix CD of Iron Maiden and Judas Priest called, ready for this?, "Iron Priest". *nods* yeah.

9:44 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I've always had a really hard listening to more than, say, two Cake songs in a row. I like them just fine as a band (though they suck live), but all of their songs sound a little too similar for me to get down with a whole album at a stretch.

"Burritory" has been submitted to Websters and I think our chances are pretty good.

11:20 AM  

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