Friday, January 05, 2007

Movie Poster A Go-Go: Deep Six

Graphic design skills, you've met your match: A guy who knows nothing about graphic design, but is going to be snotty about it anyway!!!

The Hills Have Eyes 2

While this seems like something I'd normally like, I'm gonna have to give this poster the ol' thumbs down. It's just too... "obvious" I guess is the word I'm looking for. If you saw the first Hills Have Eyes, you're already well aware that it was gory and unpleasant. To me, this poster says, "We're servin' up more of the same." Also, if I may delve into nitpickiness for a bit, who goes to all the trouble of wrapping up a body, only to leave the legs hanging out? That's just silly. Cannibalistic desert-dwellers everywhere are, I'm sure, very disappointed by this sloppy, lazy portrayal.

The Number 23

Now this I like. Yes, it's a bit of a rip off of In the Mouth of Madness, but hey... what works, works. Now, the next question... um... is the movie about people who like to write on Jim Carrey? Because, and I never thought I'd say this, I'd pay to see that movie. Anyway, Carrey's got the perfect mix of haunted and hunted going on in that picture (he's scared of the pens, I'd wager); looks like they actually bothered to photograph him specifically for the poster, as opposed to just doing another horrible Photoshopping job, you know, like...

Ocean's 13

You're going to have to click on this one to get the full effect. Go ahead, I'll wait; I've got a bagel. Okay, welcome back... horrible, right? I've seen tribesman from the plains of Africa, who've lived lives of solitude for many a year, who aren't familiar with any languages outside of their native tongue, who've never even seen an electric light bulb, do better Photoshop work than what's represented here. Also, the tribesmen are blind and deaf.

Smokin' Aces

Yeah, I've done this movie already, but this poster's new and damn if it isn't a tidy piece of work. I still think this movie looks like biggest collection of douchebags and assholes since the great Douchebag/Asshole Conference and Chili Cookoff of '86, but this poster is a fine example of how to market a movie. Eye-catching, tells you the basic plot of the movie, and Jeremy Piven... nice work, douchebags and assholes!

Delta Farce

Um... wow. Larry the Cable Guy just took a big dump on Kubrick's grave. I'm not even that big a fan of Kubrick's movies (he's pretentious) and I'm offended by the very notion of this, just as a guy who's been an avid movie enthusiast his whole life. I mean, I know that everything's up for grabs, parody-wise, and there shouldn't be any "Sacred Cows" that we can't openly mock but... damn... Larry the Cable Guy rippin' on Stanley Kubrick? That leaves a taste in my mouth like I've been chewing on tinfoil.


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