More Than Meets The Eh...

It's been well-established in this blog and in the hearts and minds of every girl I've tried to date over the years that I am an unapologeticly geeky nerd from Dorksville (Population: Lame). Growing up intensely interested in musical theater and le cinema will do that to a person. And, with high school behind me, I began my long and storied career holding down the counters at video and record stores across this great nation, effectively sealing my fate as the guy who gets real excited over, say, the idea of a live-action Transformers movie hitting the big screen next year.

Or, at least, I used to be that guy. Have I mellowed as I've slid into my late-twenties like a fat kid on a Slip N' Slide? Does it now take more than big robots to stoke the fires of my passion these days? I ask these questions, am forced to contemplate the very fiber that makes up my being, because today the first teaser trailer (sorry, "announcement") for the aforementioned Transformers project hit the web and it's entirely and unbelieveably uninspiring. Here, watch it:

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/2006/06/transformers_the_movie_announc.html

See what I mean? First off, the probe thingy's supposed to be on Mars, though it looks surprisingly like the desert basins around the greater Los Angeles area. I guess they wanted to put out a teaser ("announcement," damnit) but they really didn't want to drive too far to make it. Secondly, we only get the silhoutte of a Transformer and he doesn't even... you know... transform or anything. He just steps on stuff. Great. And then, for thirds, they make the titles all transformy and super-cool, meaning they can do that sort of stuff, but not with the cars or planes or whatever, which is really what we want to see. It's like having the really hot girl you want to see naked sit at the foot of your bed and show you pictures of less-attractive naked girls. Very much not the same thing.

So yeah. Eh, to you Transformers. Try harder!