Saturday, June 24, 2006

Belated Movie Review

Finally got around to seeing X-Men 3: It's A Metaphor this weekend.

My esteemed ruling... Very Okay.

The movie's biggest problem is Brett Ratner, who took over directing duties from Bryan Singer so Singer could go play with other superheros. He is the very defenition of an understudy; someone who's competent enough to keep the curtain up, but certaintly not going to win any awards come the Tonys (god, I am such a theater queen). While individual scenes work great and the final half-hour showdown is top-notch entertainment, the movie never really comes together as a whole entity. If I were in snooty film critic mode, I'd be throwing around words like "unfocused" and "scattershot" all willy nilly, but since I'm not reviewing this for a magazine I'll refrain. It was a bit like eating a hastily thrown-together casserrole... tasty enough, but rather a mess in execution.

The Good

-Hugh Jackman just kicks ass as Wolverine; continues to kick ass, I should say. He absolutely owns that character and it's a shame that the focus is less on him this go-around, as he could easily have shouldered the burdeon. Somebody get this guy a spin-off, please, for the love of Marvel!

-Ian McKellen is the scariest old man around.

-The story it's self, a rather thinly veiled discussion of homosexuality and whether or not it's something that can or should be cured, is deeply involving and perhaps even ahead of it's very frightening time. When watching the movie, substitute the word "Mutant" for "Homosexual" in any and all dialouge and see if the idea of "curing" a group of people who don't want to be "cured" doesn't make you sick to your stomach. To put it another way, if you're siding with the doctors in this movie, I want to hit you with a rock.

-Famke Jansen is hot when she's evil.

The Bad

-Halle Berry continues to drain the life out every scene she's in. She won an Oscar? Really? Was it an Oscar for being the Most Wooden?

-Some of the special effects were awesome and some of them were very... eh. I know that they were trying to get a mild rating, but when you have people getting ripped apart by freakish telekentics, there's going to be at least a few drops of blood. Just sayin'.

-The cameo appearence by the comics-fan's-favorite Sentinel was cool and all, but really not needed. But still cool. But not needed. But cool. But... okay, you get my point.

-Adding the "I'm the Juggernaut, Bitch" line... dude. For real? Are we going to have the Lightsaber Kid and Ask A Ninja and Mr. T Ate My Balls in the 4th one? Will there be a Numma Numma sing-along?

-Brett Ratner. Don't mean to harp on the guy, but could the studio not have found anyone even a little more interesting to fill Singer's shoes? The guy is the directorial equivilent of a government employee... the job gets done, but with all the flare and excitement of a cinder block.

So yeah, in the end, it's worth going to see. Just know what you're in for: A mediocre-though-pleasent-enough end to what should have been a wall to wall fantastic trilogy.

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