Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Weekly Awesome! #3

Music Notes

Interesting article today from, of all places, Fox News. Please note... I am a good liberal and had this article not been about Michael Jackson and his never ending carnival of crazy, I would never frequent Fox News's website to gain any actual information or facts. As I see it, the only reasons to visit their website are to keep an eye on the Republican agenda's media profile and to call Tucker Carlson a douche on the message boards. Anyway, I figure I'm on fairly even ground with a story about Jackson because everybody looks at him with the same mix of morbid fascination and abject disgust, regardless of their political affiliation. So, here's the link:,2933,199423,00.html

If you can't stomach being in the belly of the beast, it's basically about some testimony that's been recently released from one of the 128 legal disputes that Michael Jackson is currently a part of. It seems that Jackson had planned to release a charity single for 9/11 victim's families but, because the super rich and super crazy don't understand the meaning of words like "charity," never actually intended to give any of the proceeds to anyone other than his freakish, goblin-like self. So... yeah, that's awesome. It's like he's given up on ever being likable again, so he's just going to aim at cartoon villiany and swing for the bleachers.

Songs of our Week

1. "She Doesn't Exist" by Robyn Hitchcock

If you get dumped by a really awesome girlfriend who wants to "play the field some more," your first instinct is to head directly for some Elliot Smith or some old Cure, or even Dashboard Confessionals if you're thirteen. If I may make a suggestion... actually, two suggestions. One, if your girlfriend wants to "play the field" it means she's a whore and that's just her way of breaking it to you nicely. Trust me, you don't want any of that, so perk the fuck up. Two, if you insist on being all glum and mopey, throw "She Doesn't Exist" by Robyn Hitchcock into your poor-me-drinking-alone-why-am-I-so-unloveable mix. It's a bit bouncier and it will break up the monotony a bit, yet it's still in keeping with your general bad mood.

2. "Together in Electric Dreams" by Human League

Human League never really blew up like they should have. They had a great 80's synthy sound and their songs could teach a three-unit lecture course on catchiness and yet, the only song anyone ever remembers is "Don't You Want Me, Baby." Great song, yes, but that's only one good dish at the delicious buffett, as it were. If you're sitting there all arms-crossed and doubtful, give this song a listen. If you don't like "Together in Electric Dreams," I will personally give you a small order of fries from the fast food establishment of your choice. Then, right as you're about to eat the first fry, I'll knock it out of your hand and punch you in the throat because, if you don't like "Together in Electric Dreams," you're either an evil alien or a communist and we can't have either on our American soil.

3. "Call to Love" by Crooked Fingers

This song is like falling through a rip in the fabric of time that drops you into your first car as you're driving to high school in 1996. But in a good way.

4. "My Little Corner of the World" by Yo La Tengo

I'm actually not that big a fan of Yo La Tengo, but for no particular reason. I recognize that they put out good music and I know that they've got a deeply loyal fanbase amongst those who wear a lot of vintage clothing and smell all the time like patchouli oil. They just never really did it for me. This song, however, is simulatainously like being wrapped in a warm hug from your best friend and being tied naked to a chair in a madman's basement. Any band that can strike that balance, even if for only one song, is a-okay in my book.

5. "London Girl" by The Pogues

When you grow up male, you inevitably go through the "angry young man" phase which, musically, can take you down a few different paths. There's punk, of course, and the various sub-species of metal. You can go the goth route if you've a bit of a sissy, and if you've got the balls for it, you can get into gangsta rap but you pretty much have to be black to pull that off without looking ridiculous. Thing is, all of these are a little played out these days and you're going to look a little silly if you follow the dress asthetics of any of them. Nobody takes punks seriously anymore, trust me, and metal guys just look hot and sweaty all the time. Goths were never taken seriously to begin with and guys who dress like rappers are only scary to old ladies. So, what's left? An avenue that's really unexplored by the angry young man is stuff along the lines of The Pogues... they could be deeply policical, which is always good for some anger, and they were basically Irish punks without the saftey pins and stupid hair. Plus, you can dance along to their music without getting hurt, you can wear whatever you want, and good beer is a requirement of listening to their music. You can get your "me against the world" ya-yas out without having to buy a whole new wardrobe and people don't automatically hate you. Best of both worlds, for reals.


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