The Stuff We're Into... You Know... Sexually
One of the things that sucks about having normal sexual interests... like, digging butts and boobies and lady-parts and wangs... is that those are the stuff that people, generally, keep covered. Which means you don't get to see them on a regular basis, which, as I said, sucks. Because, and I think I speak for everyone here, those are basically the things we want to look at at least most of the time. Maybe not first thing in the morning, say, or right after we get chewed out by our boss... having a droopy dong or what have you shoved in your face while you're cleaning up your best friend's vomit after a late night of drinking wouldn't be ideal. But you catch my drift: The naughty parts are what we want to see and we can't see them under normal circumstances because of "decency law" bullshit designed by The Man to keep us all puritanical and lame.
So, you know what must be AWESOME? Having a foot fetish. Like, being super into men or women's toes and arches and the tops of their feet and the heel... all that. Don't know how it is where you're at, but... especially during the summer... people in New York are total foot sluts. Flashing their race car-red toenails all sexy in little sandals that leave nothing to the imagination. Can you imagine what that's like for people who get boners or wide-ons over feet? It would be like walking around a nudist colony full of porn stars on Ecstasy for we "normal" folk.
And I put the word normal in quotations because... ARE we normal? We that like the aforementioned covered parts? Maybe we're actually just idiots. We've sexualized the stuff we don't get to see, which is kind of retarded. We should be drooling over necks (ew, not literally) or going hot-pants horny over earlobes or Lambada-ing each other because of some pants-quakingly exposed wrist-meat. What the fuck were we thinking?!?!
Now... okay... I suppose you could make a case for us being all into boobies and butts and wangs and lady-parts because they're covered all the time and we want them because they're a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in blue jeans or a tasteful sweater. But that is SO not the point.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm going to be all about the toes from now on. It just makes more sense. Foot fetish, ahoy!!!
Oh, wait, feet are disgusting. Never mind.