Tuesday, April 01, 2008

It's April Fool's Day!!!

"Ooooh, it's a special day for pranks! How exciting, how freeing, how novel and wacky and look, that fat secretary in the denim jumper is wearing an arrow through her head... oh no, someone shot her with an arrow... ah... AH... wait, Gladys got us again with her trickery!!! What a joyous day this is, what a delightful, mirth-filled wonderland of fake vomit and telling people stuff that's not true just to see them go, 'huh,' so you can go, 'oh just kidding because this is a day where we're all supposed to be silly and kooky!' HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! How organized it all is!!! I'm shitting myself because I can't stop laughing at all of this specific, orderly, nutty, controlled, topsy-turvy, madness!!! There's literally diarrhea pooling at my feet because I've lost control of my bowels; that's how funny all these marvelous jokes are!!! What a time to be living in America. Come over here, Baby Jesus, and give me an elaborate high five!!!"

See that? That's you.

Unless you agree with me that April Fool's Day is fucking lame. Then never mind. Let's go drink Everclear in an alley until tomorrow.

"Oh, don't be a party poop! It's just a..."

Stop. Just stop it, or I'll hit you with my bottle of Everclear.

9 Comments:

Blogger Lioux said...

OMG!!! One of my BFF's Birthday is today and we always try to 'get him' with 'something good' every year.

But yea. Otherwise. Lame.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Ross said...

Clint, I think you need to think with more pity in your heart.

Today is a day that we remember those who are not funny...in any way. They are sad, pathetic people who can't make a witty comment to save their lives. This is the one day when we pretend that they are really mirth-loving, zany comedians instead of the mindless drones they are the other 364 days of the year.

Have pity. Fake laughter if you have to. Help the un-funny.

11:41 AM  
Blogger stew said...

yeah, I'm just wearing this arrow in my head IRONICALLY. I know it's not funny. It's not, is it? Damn.

12:03 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Lioux... God, that's got to be a pain the ass, having a birthday on April Fool's. I think I'd be tempted to just tell people it was on the 2nd, or on March 31st.

Ross... Touche, sir. Well played.

Stew... Everything I do is ironic. I have this blog ironically. It's not the only thing that keeps me going besides the liquor. It's not! Ironic!!!!

12:20 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

But just to clarify, it's still not okay for me to shoot arrows at people, right?

12:22 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Still not okay, dude. Didn't the police take away your bow and arrow? Because if you've got one, I'm required to tell them about it... that was the agreement we all signed to keep you out of jail. For shooting arrows at people.

1:09 PM  
Blogger Digital Fortress said...

Another blessing of working from home...not having to deal with lame April Fools jokes.

So what if I am all alone! I didn't want to prank anyone anyway. ::sniff:: let me get a shot of that Everclear please.

2:00 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Try being born on April Fool's day.

Good times let me tell you.

5:36 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Oops, posted before I was done.

The first five years of my life was 'we forgot your birthday. Ha. April Fools!'

5:37 PM  

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