Monday, March 24, 2008

A Fart Story

So I was in the bathroom, doing my business, and this guy in the stall next to me let out a fart that sounded exactly like this:

blooooOOOOOOOpppppthhh...

Like, it wasn't a normal fart. This was a sound from an animated world where men turn into cartoon wolves when they see pretty girls and where you can run on air if you don't look down. I'm not entirely convinced that the guy in the stall wasn't a lesser character from the Warner Bros. archive who had to get a real job when he was downsized due to budget cuts (thanks, Pixar!).

Anyway, when the dude farted, I totally started laughing. Not loudly or anything, but I definitely busted out with some chuckles and there's no way he didn't hear me. So... yeah... awkward. I mean, I got out of there before he emerged and hit me with an anvil or gave me a dynamite cigar or something, but still... Bad form, C-dog. Oh, and just in case you're wondering, it was curiously odorless for all it's goofy noise

(It goes without saying that I'm officially five years old, right?)

(FARTS!!!)

10 Comments:

Blogger Digital Fortress said...

The first thing that came to my mind after reading that you heard an abnormal fart was - You may have barely missed being attacked by one of those shit weasels from Stephen King's Dreamcatcher.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Haha, yeah totally. Incidentally, has he written a more bonkers book than Dreamcatcher? Too weird. The movie was pretty out of hand as well. So going to Netflix that now.

3:20 PM  
Blogger Cray said...

Shit weasel....has to be the best phrase I've heard in a while.

3:36 PM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

i can't recall how many times i've had to stifle my laughter at some of the fart sounds that i've heard coming out of the toilet stalls at my job.

they're just too unreal to not laugh at!

i mean the guy in the stall delivering said fart has to sense it coming,so if he doesn't give a courtesy flush before he blows wind out the old ass tuba then i'd like to think that he's probably laughing at himself along with you.

either that or he's doubled over in pain praying to some god,any god that he doesn't excrete a kidney!

4:07 PM  
Blogger surviving myself said...

I feel like the guy didn't hear you. Cause any normal dude would've enjoyed the laughter.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Andrea B. said...

ok, gross.

here's an ode (sort of) to bodily funtions:

why fart it and waste it when you
can burp it and taste it.

so. juvenile. me.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Ross said...

I try to resist, but farts are too funny.

10:48 PM  
Blogger Lioux said...

(FARTS!!!)

Heh heh.

I am so glad I've always worked places with private bathrooms like Company, Inc. and now Whorporate America Headquarters.

And usually. It's the silent-est that are the deadli-est.

9:49 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

You were in the bathroom with me again? Damnit Clinton! We need time apart!

7:12 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Look at you, all pretending like you don't love it. Please. If you think we need space, why'd you get the full-back tattoo of me as a Warrior King? Hmmm... I'm waiting for an answer...

7:42 PM  

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