Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Morning Hodgepodge

On the subway this morning, I happened to glance down at myself and I realized that I'm the Captain of the Goodship Gross-Nasty. The hoodie that I wore today has like three mystery stains on it, there's also some cat hair issues, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't smell a little funky. I've made jokes on this site before about how funny it is that I dress like a shabby hobo, or oh ha ha I look like a refugee but, you know, seriously, I think I might actually be a homeless person that somehow missed his calling. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I didn't follow that path it's logical conclusion... I'm not really an outdoors-y person... but there are times when I think it might be better for everyone if I gave up working in an office and living in an apartment and just took up residence on street corner with a change cup and a permenant scowl. It would be what my high school guidance counselor would call "achieving my potential."

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I try to keep things positive on ZFS! because I'm not really an angry person and, besides, a lot of other bloggers out there do the negative, cranky schtick already and I don't think I really have anything to add to that particular subset of the internet. That being said, there is one thing that I would like to publicly come out against; it's time somebody said something and I guess that somebody has to be me. Here it is: You know dreadlocks? They suck. Like, for real. They're just ugly and I hate them so much, I might have a stroke. Let me give you a for instance. On American Idol this season, there's this one kid who's handsome, has a great voice, and will probably do really well on the show... except for the fact that he has fucking gnarly dreads. Check it out, here's Jason Castro. See what I mean? He looks like the top of his head was replaced by a Play-Doh Fun Factory but for turds. So yeah, people, enough with the dreadlocks. You're giving literal meaning to the term "shithead."

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That picture up in the corner there doesn't really have anything to do with anything. I just really like gay cowboys. Maybe a little too much, actually. Like, I think the gay cowboys of the world are a little creeped out because I keep showing up at their gay rodeos. It must be their hats.

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Before I moved to New York, I had this image in my head of the weather here always being grey, snowy and cold. Not sure where this came from (probably the movies, which is also where I got the idea that love conquers all and you can wipe out aliens with computer viruses), but nonetheless, when I thought about this city, I always thought about it as a winter wonderland. So days like today are nice for me, at least from a ideological-fulfillment perspective. I'll grant you that it's less nice when I get dirty snow in my shoe and my sock is wet for the rest of the day. That's no funskies.

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I'm wearing this sweater that my father bought me for Christmas and I'm still, two months later, not sure that I'm entirely on board with it. It's not a bad sweater, don't get me wrong; it's very comfortable and warm and good for days like today. It's just... I don't know... it's very "Dad-ish." It's black, with these big, light grey, dark grey, and black diamonds on it, which are accented by these smaller purple diamonds. It's not Cosby-sweater bad, but it's definitely in the same ballpark. Something Dr. Huxtable would wear if he decided to dial it down a notch, maybe. Girlfriend says that maybe I should just tell people that I'm wearing it ironically, but I honestly don't think it's bad enough to where irony is a factor. But it's also not good enough to be all that stylish. It's like the metephysical idea of Limbo made corporeal in soft cotton. Anyway, it's weird, but also kinda snuggly.

7 Comments:

Blogger The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Is your sweater bad enough to be featured here?

9:52 AM  
Blogger Midwesterner in NYC said...

Fine, you do not like my dreads. At least have the balls to tell me to my face rather than pull this passive agressive stunt.

You have a lot of nerve buddy. A lot of nerve....

10:31 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Dutchess... No, I don't think it's quite *that* bad, but then again that might just be a matter of perspective.

Midwesterner... I'm sorry, dude, I'm just not very confrontational. But since you've brought it up now, I've got to issue you this warning: Don't be around me when I've got scissors. I'm going to make you look like Lex Luthor.

10:58 AM  
Blogger brookLyn gaL said...

Whoa, careful with dreadlock bashing! I blogged about that once like a year ago, and I have gotten really angry comments in the months since. Apparently people who love dreadlocks also love to google "dreadlocks" and maybe "brooklyn" or something, and become irate when someone wrote something negative about dreads 8 months ago.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Giggleloop said...

"Weird, but also kinda snuggly" is the description of the kind of guys I like. :) Actually it would make a decent description of me too!

1:30 PM  
Blogger Mjones said...

Ugh, I so agree about the dreads. The second I saw that kid I was like please, let him get a makeover where they shave his head!

And the Play-Doh reference = Brilliant!

2:54 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Brooklyn... Duly noted, but seriously, they can fucking bring it. Trying to defend the worst hairstyle in the world in an unwinnable battle.

Giggleloop... Me too, but for girls. And George Clooney.

Mjones... Thanks! And, yeah, totally; I expect him to show up one week with his head shaved and a tear in his eye.

3:07 PM  

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