Where Have All The Psychos Gone?
Caught Zodiac yesterday. And by that, I mean I caught the movie called Zodiac, not the actual serial killer known as Zodiac, though you probably could have guessed that and, by me pointing it out, I've not-so-subtly implied that I think you're an idiot. Hmm... only three sentences in and this post has gone entirely to hell.You know what, let me start over...
Actually, hang on, wouldn't it be cool if I really had caught the serial killer known as Zodiac? Like I was walking down the street and I overheard some guy talking on his cellphone like, "Oh yeah, I was totally the Zodiac killer back in the 70's; they all thought it was this other dude who died before they could arrest him but, nope, it was just ol' Carl Masterson the whole time. No, I haven't seen the movie, but that Jake Gyllenhaal is a dreamboat and I'll tell you that for free!" I'd sneak up behind him and give him a swift karate chop to the neck and, then BANG: I just caught me a serial killer. Where's my book deal? Can I get a side of interview on Larry King with that?
Yeah, that would be pretty sweet.
Wait, where the hell was I going with this...?
Oh, right, so caught Zodiac (the movie, not the...) and it got me to thinking; is it just me, or has there not been a good, old fashioned serial killer in the last fifteen years or so. I mean, the last one I can really remember was Jefferey Dahmer, and it was only after he was caught that anyone knew his story. There weren't any "City In Fear/ Hunt For A Madman"-type headlines with Dahmer, nor were there citywide curfews or any people calling tip-lines because they thought their neighbor seemed like the type of guy who could eat people.
My question is, why? Why aren't their serial killers any more? I mean, I know people still kill other people, obviously, and I know that people are saying George W. Bush is a serial killer, but that's only in the war crimes department, which fits only the loosest definition. It's just not the same. I'm talking about real serial killers; your Zodiacs and your Ted Bundys and your Night Stalkers. Guys (and it's always guys, isn't it?) like that.
My theory on all of this is that, what with your real-life versions of CSI and your Law and Order and whatnot, our collective crime-fighting skills have just gotten too good. Nobody can go on extended, thrill-kill murder sprees because we've got DNA analysis and cameras everywhere and, I think, magic (I'm not really up on my criminology these days). In effect, the "job" of serial-killing has been phased out by technology. As an alternative opinion, Girlfriend thinks it's because the idea of being a serial killer has become too "over done;" that people are looking for more interesting ways to commit their mass murders because they don't want to be branded as copycats or be stuck with the dreaded was-inspired-by-violent-movies label. The prime example of this would be, I guess, Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski; sure he's a monster but, credit where it's due, he was a creative monster.
Anyway, just something I was thinking about. Anyone else got other theories on the subject? Oh, and, for the record, before I get two metric buttloads of hate mail, I AM NOT CONDONING THE ACT OF SERIAL KILLING, NOR AM I WISHING FOR A RETURN TO FORM IN THE "ARTS" OF SAME.
I'm glad they're gone, of course. I'm just curious as to where they went.
posted by Clinton at 9:11 AM
14 Comments:
Serial killing is so 1970-1998. It's all about the spree killing now, with the school shootings, snipers, and workplace violence.
I blame increased fat intake, lack of naps, and first person shooter video games.
This is kind of parenthetical to what you're saying, but nevertheless... I wish we had a naptime at work.
I'd be so much more into my job, were it so.
Serial killers are passe. I'm looking for a good diamond heist to happen one of these years.
Black17... I'd forgotten about the sniper guys; definately a new twist on a old standard, if ya know what I mean.
Crimsonking... A-fucking-men! Especially if it's perpetrated by Miss Piggy and Co., like in The Great Muppet Caper!
Joel Rifken, or was it Rifkin?
The NYC Zodiac killer of the early 1990s.
Both of the above were caught.
Then there is the not too successful attempted serial killer in the NYC area, called the "Zip Gun Bomber" who has killed at least once, and has injured others. He's more along the lines of the Unabomber though, and has one kill in Bay Ridge from Mother's Day 1982 - last known attack was in 1996.
See, this is what happens when I don't do research. Or pay attention to current events. Although, to be fair to myself, those all happened before I hit New York.
Totally true.
A friend of my band Sister Kisser®™©™ recently purchased the childhood home of Jeffery Dahmer (this was the site of his first victim) and offered to put us up while we were on the road this past summer.
Certain band members were really freaked out by this and refused to actually stay there, so we got a hotel room and just visited our friend's house one afternoon.
It was totally creepy.
I'm trying to decide how awful a person it would make me if I said that this was AWESOME!!!
Didn't do it as a "do your research" sort of thing, and instead thought you'd find them interesting.
Oh, no I didn't think you were saying that all. I'm just saying, in general, that I tend to talk out my ass.
And I did find it informative, so everybody wins!
The Green River Killer was a total meanie. Up in Washington/ Oregon. Killed like, 50 hookers over 20 years. They only recently sentenced the guy.
Also, there's some ex-nurse guy who called himself "the angel of death." He might have killed up to 150 patients by unplugging their breathing tubes. Possibly the most killiest killer that ever serial killed.
I'm not totally sure on the facts, though. And too lazy to check.
I remember reading about both of those incidents, now that you mention it. Also, I think that serial killers should be rated on a scale of "Least Killiest" to "Most Killiest." Make things much more efficiant.
Plus it'll be easier for lazies like us to remember, or at least google.
I'm going to start a Killers cover band called 'The Killiest'.
Thanks Zombie!
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