Ten Things I Find Mesmerizing
NOTE: This list does not contain lava lamps. Lava lamps are lame and, also, I saw this one episode of Mythbusters where they made lava lamps explode so, in conclusion, lava lamps are both lame and lethal.
Doppler Radar - There was this channel in Austin that just showed the Doppler for Travis County and I could watch that bitch for hours, if I were drunk enough. So, needless to say, I was watching a lot of Doppler in the middle of the night in Austin, Texas.
The Head Settling on a Beer - Obviously.
Batting Practice - It's kind of like watching a musician tune a guitar or watching a seasoned chef chop vegetables; the preparation for something great.
Uma Thurman and John Travolta Dancing in Pulp Fiction - That one scene kills me. If I were assigned the task of explaining the concept of "cool" to a bunch of aliens, I'd dispense with the last 50 years of pop culture and just show them that on a loop until the first words of our Earth language that they learned were "Jackrabbit Slims."
Long Tracking Shots of People Walking and Talking - I'm a big Aaron Sorkin fan, naturally.
Candy Bars Being Made - That little bloop of chocolate that spreads out over the nougat (or whatever) calms my soul. If they add peanuts on top of it, all the better.
That One Screensaver That Everyone Used To Have Where It Looked Like You Were Traveling Through Space - I'm very lucky that I never hit the hard drugs because, if I had, I'd still be stuck in Arlington watching this thing from sun up to sundown.
Tap Dancing - Feet shouldn't move like that and they certainly shouldn't make "clickity-clack" noises when they do. Watching tap dancers is like watching the 2.0 version of human beings.
The Falling Snow - I've only lived in the Northeast for a few years, so this is still a novelty for me. Also, it's trite, but I don't care. It's beeeee-utiful!
Boobies - You could hit me with a rock when there's boobies about and the only response you'd get from me is an extended, full-of-awe, "Wow" like I've just discovered the secrets of the universe. Because I have.
Doppler Radar - There was this channel in Austin that just showed the Doppler for Travis County and I could watch that bitch for hours, if I were drunk enough. So, needless to say, I was watching a lot of Doppler in the middle of the night in Austin, Texas.
The Head Settling on a Beer - Obviously.
Batting Practice - It's kind of like watching a musician tune a guitar or watching a seasoned chef chop vegetables; the preparation for something great.
Uma Thurman and John Travolta Dancing in Pulp Fiction - That one scene kills me. If I were assigned the task of explaining the concept of "cool" to a bunch of aliens, I'd dispense with the last 50 years of pop culture and just show them that on a loop until the first words of our Earth language that they learned were "Jackrabbit Slims."
Long Tracking Shots of People Walking and Talking - I'm a big Aaron Sorkin fan, naturally.
Candy Bars Being Made - That little bloop of chocolate that spreads out over the nougat (or whatever) calms my soul. If they add peanuts on top of it, all the better.
That One Screensaver That Everyone Used To Have Where It Looked Like You Were Traveling Through Space - I'm very lucky that I never hit the hard drugs because, if I had, I'd still be stuck in Arlington watching this thing from sun up to sundown.
Tap Dancing - Feet shouldn't move like that and they certainly shouldn't make "clickity-clack" noises when they do. Watching tap dancers is like watching the 2.0 version of human beings.
The Falling Snow - I've only lived in the Northeast for a few years, so this is still a novelty for me. Also, it's trite, but I don't care. It's beeeee-utiful!
Boobies - You could hit me with a rock when there's boobies about and the only response you'd get from me is an extended, full-of-awe, "Wow" like I've just discovered the secrets of the universe. Because I have.
posted by Clinton at 2:02 PM
5 Comments:
I am mesmerized by this!
[WARNING:OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE]!
Oooh, for me mesmerizing is:
The last 30 minutes of '2001: A Space Odyssey'
Uma Thurman killing the crazy 88's and all, in Kill Bill.
and clouds.
Travis County needs that channel since the weather would change quicker than it takes an armadillo to becom roadkill.
Tracking shots are awesome, especially Robert Altman's opening one in 'The Player'.
I'm fascinated by bad dancers, people who snort when they laugh, and velcro. What can I say, I'm a simple girl.
Your blog is awesome and thoroughly entertaining.
I have just one question : do you do any work at all? What is it that you're actually supposed to be doing? Your job title.
Please satisfy my curiosity, because anyone who writes a couple interesting posts a day has way too much time on their hands.
Somehow I'm hoping that you don't have some heavily responsible job like an air-traffic controller.
Frances... My girlfriend snorts when she laughs and it's quite possibly the cutest thing since they cross-bred a kitten and a bunny.
Gwiz... Ha! Fair enough: I work as a "broadcast specialist" for an ad agency. What that means is that I handle invoices for radio and TV stations that have bought ad time from the company I work for. Basically, I make sure invoices are in the computer and, if they're not, I input them myself. I joke about not ever working, but it's actually more truthful to say that the job is just REALLY easy and I'm good at multi-tasking. Oh, and thanks for the kind words!
Post a Comment
<< Home