Double McNasty
I am no stranger to the McDonalds chain, a fact proven by my unbelievably sexy physique and my ability to do barbecue sauce shots like I was in Coyote Ugly on a Saturday night. I've tasted the length and breadth of their menu and I've found it all to be as good as one could possibly expect from a place that hires only the surliest of teenagers. There is one menu item, however, that I cannot abide:
The Double Filet O' Fish
Fucking gross, dudes. Thinking about it makes my stomach clench like I just saw a guy get kicked in the balls. Seriously, the single Filet O' Fish is a slab of filth; who's the sick fuck that's ordering a double helping of this heavily-processed monstrosity? And remember, this is coming from a guy who actually liked the McRib; if I'm repulsed, then you've got to know that your dealing with something so far down on the scale of deliciousness it's practically human feces.
Anti-Filet O' Fish Gossip: I'm told by a former McD's employee (who chooses to remain anonymous, obviously), that they have a deep-fryer that's used exclusively for the fish filets so that the fries and nuggets don't taste weird. Because it's only used for one thing, the oil in there is hardly ever changed; usually only when it gets to be the color and consistency of a mud puddle. Ew, ew, ew!!!!! Also, the employees jizz in the tarter sauce when they get bored (I assume).
So, in conclusion, I'd like to say this: The Double Filet O' Fish makes me want to barf. That is all.
The Double Filet O' Fish
Fucking gross, dudes. Thinking about it makes my stomach clench like I just saw a guy get kicked in the balls. Seriously, the single Filet O' Fish is a slab of filth; who's the sick fuck that's ordering a double helping of this heavily-processed monstrosity? And remember, this is coming from a guy who actually liked the McRib; if I'm repulsed, then you've got to know that your dealing with something so far down on the scale of deliciousness it's practically human feces.
Anti-Filet O' Fish Gossip: I'm told by a former McD's employee (who chooses to remain anonymous, obviously), that they have a deep-fryer that's used exclusively for the fish filets so that the fries and nuggets don't taste weird. Because it's only used for one thing, the oil in there is hardly ever changed; usually only when it gets to be the color and consistency of a mud puddle. Ew, ew, ew!!!!! Also, the employees jizz in the tarter sauce when they get bored (I assume).
So, in conclusion, I'd like to say this: The Double Filet O' Fish makes me want to barf. That is all.
posted by Clinton at 2:03 PM
33 Comments:
Did you ever get to taste the Cajun McChicken sandwich that they had briefly back in the late 90s?
It was so good, so tasty.
No, though that sounds like a chicken sandwich that's right in my wheelhouse, as it were. Loves me the spicy.
Have you tried the Spicy Tendercrisp sandwich at Burger King? Getting it with jalapenos means you're totally butch.
Man, you had to go and ruin it.
I like Filet O' Fish's actually. I guess I'll have to stick to making my own at home.
Oh jesus, i'm surprised Irish hasn't already commented on this. We have a whole post celebrating her love of fast food, especially Mc. D's. She "NEEEEEDDDDSSS A NUMMMMMBBBERRR TWOOOOOO" when ever she gets wasted. Personally I'd rather eat an actual number two than eat at McDonalds.
-Jew
(ps-no i wouldn't)
http://irishandjew.blogspot.com/2007/01/saturday-nights-alright-for-fighting.html
Thats the drunk mc.d post (sorry i don't know how to be cool and link it)
-Jew
I haven't had McD's in almost 3 weeks (part of my pretending I'm training for the marathon I registered for) but damn u mofo's now im craving... im like CRAAAVING.
yum.
God I love my Number 2.
~Irish
Jew... C'mon, you know you love McDonalds. Unless you're a Communist, of course. Eat the McNuggets... EAT 'EM!!! Ahem... anyway, thanks for the link.
Irish... I'm more of a fan of whatever number it is that's got the Quarter Pounder. Also, totally digging the SnackWraps, which I think makes me an honorary Soccer Mom.
Oh, and Big Daddy... There's no shame in eating a fish sandwich that you've made at home. In fact, make me one. NOW!!!!
Soccer moms eat the yogurt parfait. Jew hates MickeyD's her parents BRAINWASHED her. Such a sad sad thing.
~Irish
Tragic, really. I weep for Jew.
Clinton, I haven't been to the King in over ten years, and have no clue what a spicey tenderhouse is.
Also, did you hear about the new 1/3 pounder that McD's is testing out in 600 US locations?
The Spicy Tendercrisp is your basic chicken sandwich, but it's been smeared with this Tabasco-y mayo that's the substance I'd most like to be drowned in (other than beer, of course). They've even occasionally got a version that has pepperjack cheese and jalapenos on it, which is awesome.
And, no, I haven't heard about the 1/3 Pounder. I'm intruiged, but also kinda grossed out. The meat's not exactly the highest of quality at the McD's.
Not a big fan of the McFish®™©™ sandwiches...But I too enjoyed a McRib®™©™ back in the day.
Do you remember the McVeggie Burger®™©™?
And I LOVE BK'S Spicy Tendercrisp®™©™ sandwiches.
OMG, NOW I'M STARVING!!!
I do remember the McVeggie burgers. In fact, I specifically remember saying, "I don't THINK so, McVeggie burger," before I ordered a Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Ha ha, I'm fat!!!
You like the mcRib? Wow.
I've never tried it personally, but have heard legends about it. Anything called 'fish' at a fast food joint is bound to be nasty...
I like that you called it 'heavily processed', though.
...as opposed to which menu item? :) I'm far from bashing all the other number-pickers, I eat at McD's way too often, but c'mon... their "chicken" consists of about 25% water (no joke). Does the heavily-processed category begin at over 50% additives? ;)
Filet O' Fishes are actually a godsend for the Catholic on the go like myself during Lent. Guess I'll have to settle for quick sushi from here on out.
GWiz... Yeah, the McRib and I go way back. The funny thing about it, actually, is that it's not even meat. It's soy. Or so I'm told by my anonymous McD's ex-employee.
Frances... I heard that the Filet O' Fishes don't like Catholics. I'm just sayin'.
I totally had to Drive Thru the Mickey D's®™©™ on my way home yesterday as a result of this post.
Happy I could contribute to the clogging of another's arteries!
With or without the tartar sauce?
Did you know tartar sauce is just mayo with relish in it? i just learned that tidbit last week.
'I weep for Jew' sounds funny when you say it, like you have a bad Puerto Rican accent.
I am well aware of the ingredients of tartar sauce, but only because I'd have to make it to order for customers when I was waiting tables for Outback.
I also used to make the cocktail sauce.
Oh god you waited tables at outback? In Texas or NYC?
And you sound ominous about the cocktail sauce... what was in it? Do i want to know? Was it blubbermittens?
-Jew
I waited tables for Outback in Texas and in Los Angeles; it was actually a pretty good time because all waiters are degenerates and know how to party.
And no, there were no blubbermittens in the cocktail sauce. Just ketchup, horseradish, worsterschister (or however you spell it) and lemon juice. I actually took a lot of pride in my cocktail sauce because mine was the most kick-ass out of everybodies. You could say the secret ingredient was love.
Sub the ketchup for garlic, lemon for lime, and throw that shiz in some clamato juice and you got urself one hell of a bloody mary!
pickle juice and hot sauce optional
-J
Pickle juice in a bloody mary??? That's a scary kind of brilliant that I've not encountered since a friend of mine introduced me to the joys of tequila and Sunny D (trust me).
mmm although i usually prefer the purple stuff, i'll give that a try.
If you want to get crazy with your mary i learned this little trick this weekend.
take a small bowl and fill it halfway with water, place one or two beef bullion cubes in it and microwave for like a minute or until the cube disintegrates. pour to taste in the mary. i haven't tried it but it's supposed to be AMAZING.
-J
Whoever told you that is spot on. It's called a Bloody Bull and they are amazing; one of the best cures for a hangover I've ever tried. The spicier the better.
Well actually it was my dad. So i guess we know now who wins the coolest dad competition...
-J
SNAP!!!
Yeah, that's a hard one to top. Damn it... I've got to call my father...
hey, I blogged about scary fish today! I used to work at Burger King and seem to remember some religious family coming in that followed some strict dietary restrictions and we had to use special oil in the fryer just for them...friggin weirdos...then years later i became a vegan and almost never ate fast food again. although i did quite happily reunite with cheese.
I would have said, "Um, Crazy Religious Family, you're in BURGER KING!!!" Then I would have thrown fries at them until they wept. But that's me. When I waited tables in LA, we'd get the psycho-dieters that required all of their food to be prepared and handled just so; by the end of a shift, my order tickets would like the Unabomber manifesto.
I think that's how I started reading your blog. Gawker linked to a story of yours about getting really drunk with some Outback peeps.
Yum!!!
All of these wonderful recipies.
Post a Comment
<< Home