Friday, December 01, 2006

Red In New York

I meant to bring this up a while ago... specifically around Labor Day, because that's when it happened... but, eh. Lazy and all that. And I'm always one to trot out the old horse called "Better late than never" and run it through a few laps around the pen.

Anyway, so my girlfriend and I marched in the Labor Day parade here in NYC which, if you don't know, is basically a parade made up of the various unions here in the city (and there are a ton). It's my understanding that the Labor Day parade is a way to raise awareness of said unions and give them a day to band together and march, united as a brotherhood in a single cause. Or something. Truthfully, I was there because of the free lunch they were giving out to all the marchers. And, no, I'm not in a union myself. My girlfriend is a part of a union (that shall remain nameless; they might be the kind that break thumbs) and, this being her first year of involvement and all, she felt it her duty to march in the parade. And I, being the supportive, loving boyfriend (who loves free food) that I am, marched right alongside her.

So we're standing around on a blocked off section of 48th St., waiting for the parade to begin and enjoying a lovely ham sandwich, when a plump, matronly woman walks up to us and says, "Would you like a free paper?" Sure, why not. To be honest, now that the free food's been eaten, I'm getting a little bored. Some reading material would be just the... um... what:

That's right. The paper I've just been given is a Communist newspaper. And they're not even trying to be on the down-low about it either! Look, the word "Communist" is right there at the top! They're talking about Imperialists and World War III on the front page!!! Everything turned black and white. A group of 1950's G-men swarmed around me, calling me "Comrade" and "Red" as they dragged me away in handcuffs and threw me before a Senate sub-committee that ordered me to name names. I told them I'd just been handed a paper, that I did not now, nor did I ever, belong to the Communist party. Then Sen. Joe McCarthy screamed at me and ruined my promising career as a TV writer by marking me down me on the Blacklist. Somebody dramatized my plight, using pod-people as a metaphor. It was madness, I tell you, MADNESS!!!!

My point is, am I the only one who wasn't aware the Communist party was still around (in America, I mean; I'm well aware that China and a few other countries I'm too lazy to look up are down with the big C)? Not that I, you know, care or anything. People can follow whatever political ideology they choose. And clearly, judging from that little mini-drama in the above paragraph, my knowledge of Communism is limited to stuff I've seen in old movies and/or early Batman comics. So who am I to judge?

Still, seems to me, if you're going to get all political, you'd want to pick a party that's got less of a stigma attached to it. Or less so than any of the others. Actually, they all have stigmas that aren't pleasant and, at the very least, Communism's moment in the angry, panicked-populous spotlight has been over for a long time now. In fact, you could be a Communist now and people wouldn't bat an eye, what with them being far too worried about men marrying men and wars being fought in very sandy placed far away. You know, Communism doesn't look half-bad when you really think about it. I'd even say that the time is right for... Revolution.

Especially if they continue to give out free food.


Blogger Ken Wheaton said...

There's a bookstore for ya on 19th street between 5th and 6th. If's full of commies.

And you'd think these guys would soft-pedal some of this, but nope. They're full on Stalinist types. Saying Cuba has a high literacy rate or "universal (shitty) health care" is child's play for them. They'll go to bat for North Korea.

My favorite thing to do is ask them who killed more Jews, Hitler or Stalin. Makes their faces turn bright ... wait for it ... red.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Ms. C said...

1 in 5 college students experiment with Communism in college.

Don't be a statistic.

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It figures there was a communist at a damn UNION march!

I'm sorry, I seem to have come down with a case of the 1920s. *cough*

7:38 PM  

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