Thursday, May 25, 2006

I Have Seen Some Movies

I've been watching a crazy amount of movies lately. Not horribly surprising, I guess, as I'm predisposed to excessive movie-watching anyway (thanks, film school!) and both me and my girl have Netflix accounts that flood our home with stacks of viewables. Nonetheless, I feel like I've spent an inordinante amount of time on the couch, staring at the box with the pretty moving pictures.

Herewith, a viewing guide:

Blood Feast - An old Herschal Gordan Lewis movie gore-fest from the early 60's. It's fun if you like that sort of thing and it's only an hour if you don't. Falls squarely into the "unintentionally hilarious" column. Awesome period costumes and fabulously mod sets (although then they were just costumes and sets; retro-kitsch had yet to be invented). Bright red blood and lots of dismemberments. Best if drunk.

The Prizewinner of Defiance, Ohio - A big eyeroll of a movie. Not bad, exactly, just very predictable and it has waaaay too many narrative flourishes. Kind of like trying to watch a movie through a bunch of Las Vegas fan-dancers who're wearing big neon signs that say, "Oh Gosh, Look at Me!!!." Julliane Moore is good as always and, okay maybe it's just me be that woman has an ungodly amount of freckles. Almost freaky. Woody Harellson overacts embarrasingly as a mean alcoholic, but it's nice to see him not being a PETA-flogging douchenuts, so I'll forgive him.

Phantom of the Paradise - White hot! A 70's re-imagining of Phantom of the Opera as set in a fashionable, Studio 54-ish disco theater. Just... oh, kids... words can't describe. From the flawless costumes and awesome score, to William Finley's makes-Michael-Crawford-look-subdued performance as the Phantom, to the laughable attempts at making the gross, troll-like Paul Williams into a sex symbol, to the fierceness of Jessica Harper... it's all good. Still not convinced? Death by neon lightning bolt. There. Rent it.

Stay - Ewan McGregor, Naomi Watts and a heaping helping of pretentiousness. Something about a car crash and suicide and it all being not real. I don't know, I didn't really follow it and, after a while, I got bored and ended up surfing the net for nipple slips.

Just Like Heaven - Eh. Bland romantic comedy about a guy who falls for the ghostly remains of Reese Witherspoon. She's cute as a button, as she is doomed to be until her death, but the rest of the movie aims squarely for the lowest common denominator. If you must see it, hit yourself on the temple with a hammer before you get comfy on the couch. You'll droolingly thank me later.


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