It's Hard Out There for a Me
I got rained on today as I walked to work and, as I became increasingly moist and uncomfortable, I began to contemplate just how difficult my life is. This is what I was able to come up with, before I made it to the Dunkin' Donuts and got me a cup of coffee; my soothing balm of Gilead.
1. When all is said and done, will I be remembered for anything more than my snappy dress sense, my always-pleasent breath and the fact that all of Nick Cave's ballads were written about my junior high school days?
2. It's week 22 of my transit workers strike and it's not going well. I blame the weather, though I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the fact that I'm not in a transit union, nor do I have anything at all to do with the transit system. I am also not sure why I started this strike, anyway, and my feet hurt from all the picketing.
3. I got those diamond plated teeth like Paul Wall and now I have the most bling gingivitus in my neighborhood.
4. I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a, which unfortunantly has proven to be the key evidence in the legal proceedings that are being brought against me. I'm being charged with manslaughter-a.
5. I saw a pale horse and it's rider's name was death, which is weird because he looked just like my 11th grade math teacher. Either way, he stole my wallet and the NYPD aren't really up to searching for death, or for my 11th grade math teacher for that matter. He's crafty.
1. When all is said and done, will I be remembered for anything more than my snappy dress sense, my always-pleasent breath and the fact that all of Nick Cave's ballads were written about my junior high school days?
2. It's week 22 of my transit workers strike and it's not going well. I blame the weather, though I have a sneaking suspicion that it might be the fact that I'm not in a transit union, nor do I have anything at all to do with the transit system. I am also not sure why I started this strike, anyway, and my feet hurt from all the picketing.
3. I got those diamond plated teeth like Paul Wall and now I have the most bling gingivitus in my neighborhood.
4. I love to sing-a, about the moon-a and the June-a and the Spring-a, which unfortunantly has proven to be the key evidence in the legal proceedings that are being brought against me. I'm being charged with manslaughter-a.
5. I saw a pale horse and it's rider's name was death, which is weird because he looked just like my 11th grade math teacher. Either way, he stole my wallet and the NYPD aren't really up to searching for death, or for my 11th grade math teacher for that matter. He's crafty.
posted by Clinton at 11:22 AM
2 Comments:
i love that i'm the first to comment, as i was the first to love you, in the biblical sense (chapters redacted).
might i suggest that you got halfway to entering "Blingavitis" into the lexicon?
I cannot express how tenderly I love you, sir.
And "Blingavitis" will only be entered into the lexicon after I die. It's my legacy.
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