Tuesday, April 25, 2006

More True Facts

You people that are reading this should know more about me. Why? Because I will someday be your husband! Or, if not, I will someday hit you up for 20$ and don't you want to know where your money is going?

Regardless, here are some more True Facts about me; a continuation of the previous entry that won me the Pulitzer and brought me fame and fortune like a rap star. Enjoy:

Fact: I lived in Los Angeles for a little while. It was memorable in much the same way being stabbed with a broadsword would stick in your mind. I spent most of my time there drunk and shacking up with a girl that was unquestionably unhealthy for me; she was much older and also crazy. When I broke up with her to move back to New York, she threw a bottle of wine at my head. I suppose warrenting an aerial attack upon my departure should be a bit flattering, but it really just kind of made me glad I was changing coasts with no forwarding address.

Fact: I really like buffalo wings and burritos. There's not really a joke here, or even an interesting story; just cold, hard facts. I suppose that, if we run into each other on the street and you want to buy me a meal to show your unending gratitude for my verbosity, now you'll know the types of places to take me that will most garner my favor. This is really a public service, because if you were to take me to, say, a place that only served turnips and large hunks of toffee (two of my least favorite foods), then I would have no choice but to tear into you like a Grizzly on a wild salmon and nobody wants that. Think of your family. Write this down if you need to.

Fact: I spent the majority of my late teens deeply immersed in the Theater Department of Arlington High School. I was so into theater it was a little scary, leading me even to question my sexuality; was I, in fact, a Drama Fag? Turns out, no, I was not... what can I say, I do so love the ladies. But still, it was an interesting debate topic, what with my spending as much time in tights and full makeup as I did.

Fact: I've been writing, off and on, for a horror magazine. Movie reviews and such. I'll probably post all of them on this very blog at some point, but doing so would require a whole hell of a lot more energy than I could possibly muster up right now. Okay, yeah, it's not like I have to do push-ups to get them posted on here. But actually sifting through the web to find the links and then copying them and then... well... no, that's just not going to happen today because it'd interfere with my "staring off into space" schedule.

Fact: I have a deep mistrust of organized religion; of religion it's self, really. I've always held fast to the believe that your life is what you make it and leaning on an unseen God is a bit of a cop out, or, at the very least, a groping in the darkness for a light switch that can be flipped, illuminating all the problems one has with the light of a big guy in the sky that can fix it all. I prefer to rub together the sticks of intelligence and good nature, creating the spark of confidince that will eventually grow into the bright burning flame of my own self-reliance. But that's me.

So there you go. Maybe more to come, but maybe not. Trying to keep you guessing.


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