Monday, February 09, 2009

The Grammys or Celebrity Halloween?

Paula Abdul as...



... a science fiction high priestess of a religion devoted to a god that proves it's existence by turning pee into clothes.

Kim Kardashian as...



... a desperate piece of plastic that got stuck in a cloud.

Bai Ling as...



... a piece of candy from your grandmother's purse that gives you herpes and tries to steal your watch.

The Jonas Brothers as...



... date rape at the Senior Prom after-party.

Katy Perry as...



... a real-life Betty Boop raised in the retro trailer park where crystal meth was born.

John Mayer as...



... a foreign exchange student named Miklos who loves "American party" and hopes to "make anal with braces girl from Color Guard."

Jay Mohr and Nikki Cox as...



... an embarrassed Accounts Receivable manager showing off an old, leather boot he found at a garage sale.

Cyndi Lauper as...



...a recovering alcoholic substitute teacher going on a third date while trying to shrug off a jellyfish attack.

T-Pain as...



... a coordinated version of the homeless gentleman that performs gospel tunes on the subway for spare change if you got it, or perhaps just a piece of fruit or a granola bar.

Whitney Houston as...



... a "what-if" Greek myth about the dangers of smoking rock.

9 Comments:

Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

I assume you are insinuating that Nikki cox is the old leather boot? --OUCH--- C-Dog I believe you may be going to a bitter bitter place as you search for gainful employment. let some sunshine into your life, open your heart back up and fight the bitterness my brother ---Nikki Cox is still hot

9:42 AM  
Anonymous ML said...

hahaha i love when you get all catty on the celebrities. they're easy to judge because they aren't real people anyway.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How did you miss Jennifer Hudson still wearing her napkin from dinner over her dress?

10:54 AM  
Blogger Lioux said...

OMG!!! I can't wait for next Halloween.

I'm going to dress as MY favorite Greek God, 'Promiscous'!

12:41 PM  
OpenID popomaticjeff said...

This might be most favoriteist post you have ever done. I love your take on John Mayer and the Jonas Bros. Hilarious!

12:55 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Bill... Dude, I love you like a brother, but I think we have very different definitions of the word "hot."

ML... That's how I feel, too. Particularly with all the people featured in this post. One way or another, they're all asking for it.

Anonymous... I saw that one, actually, but... I don't know... I felt kinda bad snapping on her because her whole family just died.

Lioux... You're going to look FANTASTIC in a toga.

Popomatic... Why thank you! I really enjoy doing posts like these, to tell you the truth.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Wow.

Nikki Cox looks like crap.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous Subway Gal said...

It's so hard to pick just one! But, I think my fave is Kim Kardashian as the piece of plastic who got stuck in the cloud. I was crying at the end of this post.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Big Daddy... Agreed. I'm not into tans in general, and she's currently sporting one that's past the stars and beyond the moon of what's acceptable.

Subway... Glad you liked it, though I'm sorry I made you cry. Also, it pleases me that you singled out the Kim Kardashian one; I picked that photo mainly because I think she's gross... I didn't really have any idea what I was going to say about it. Then it was the last one that I captioned because I *could not* think of joke to go with it. FINALLY, I came up with what's there, but it was seriously like pulling teeth. So... as I said, glad you liked it!

12:22 AM  

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