Friday, February 06, 2009

Employment: FAIL

So, hey, remember earlier this week when I made a big hairy deal about how I was finally employed and everything was amazing now and then we danced to a rap video?

Well... turns out... I was a bit premature with that announcement.

Had a big meeting with my potential employer, yesterday, to hammer out the details of my new job. It was at this meeting that it quickly became apparent that said potential employer had not been upfront with me on a few key points. For one thing, this job was to be completely "off the books," as in, "illegal." I've worked that kind of job before... Kim's Video in the East Village, which was run by the Korean mafia... and, trust me, it wasn't an experience I'm too keen on repeating. The other issue... and this one is my favorite... my potential employer wouldn't give me a salary quote. Meaning, he wouldn't tell me how much I was going to be making. What he specifically said, which is priceless, was this:

"I don't really know how much you're worth, yet, ya know? Why don't you come work for a couple of weeks so I can judge for myself, then we'll discuss it."

I know, right?

So... yeah... not going to be taking that job, obviously. Too sketchy. A fact that I wish I had discovered a week ago, before I got all excited and shot my mouth off on the internet. That's the worst part... I feel like a fucking idiot for getting my hopes sky high, for bragging about my new-found employment before I actually had all the facts at hand. A dumb move on my part and, believe me, I'm paying for it now in disappointed tone-of-voice phone calls from family members and sad-face icons in Instant Messages from friends.

So... what now?

Well, shit... kiddos... I have no idea. I suppose I'll keep looking for jobs here in New York, at least for a little while. Complicating matters, we're moving out of our apartment at the end of the month. So... I've basically got to find a job AND a new place to live in about three weeks. Which is just so awesome, I can hardly stand it without barfing all over myself.

To tell you the truth... and I never thought I'd say this... but the thought of moving back home to Arlington, TX... where things are NOT perfect, I know, but where things ARE at least a little cheaper and the job market isn't quite as dire... is beginning to hold a lot of appeal. Not saying I'm definitely going to do that, mind you. Just sayin' it has crossed my mind a few times in the past 24 hours or so.

But that's for the future, I guess. Only thing to do now is pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on the bucking, snorting bronco that IS job-hunting in a grim economic climate such as this one. Fun times, my friends... fun times and happy days.


Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Chin-up, C-dog! If you’re going to be unemployed, there’s no better place than New York City! The Pierre Bonnard exhibit just opened at the Met. If you go mid-week, there are NO CROWDS!

You worked at Kim’s Video!? I lived on Clinton St. for about 15 years. Kim’s is an evil Asian addiction.

8:40 AM  
Blogger jason quinones said...

never knew KIm's video was run by the Korean mob? are you shitting us? really? the Korean mob???

not that i'm really doubting you because in a crooked ass place like NYC the likelihood of any establishment being mobbed up is more likely than most people care to think even though the Gotti's are nothing more than a bunch of WASHED UP TV REALITY "stars" now.

loved Kim's back in the day

sorry bout the gig man. i personally know too many people who are struggling for work as well. it's tough but things'll get better.

on the plus side if you move back to Texas maybe you can pal around with local celebrity Sheyla Hershey who just ballooned herself up to a 38KKK bra size which put her in the record books for currently having really big boobs.

educate her on the ZFS!!!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Jack Burden said...

Dude, that sucks. Word on the street is, there's good money in fellating midgets. Knowledge.

If you decide to move back to Austin, I'll buy the new Grand Theft Auto if you spring for some cheesey waffle fries.

9:59 AM  
OpenID popomaticjeff said...

Wow! What an asshole. Trying to get someone to work for a few weeks before deciding how much the position pays has got to be illegal.

10:09 AM  
Anonymous ML said...

sorry to hear that, dude! but hey, if you're worth hiring for an illegal job, you're DEFINITELY worth hiring for a legal one. ...not sure how that works but it's gonna be okay. :)

10:22 AM  
Blogger LSL said...

I am so sorry! What a shitty let down. I got laid off this week, so, hey - you're not alone.

: (

10:27 AM  
Blogger Hex said...

So if you hide the bodies of two lyin weasel stoolies, I'll pay you this much.

But if you hide THREE bodies of snitches, you'll get a bonus.

..It's a growth industry, bro.

11:04 AM  
Blogger Sonny Amou said...

In retro, probably best to avoid shady gigs such as this one. Sorry to hear about this...good luck on your continued search...


11:32 AM  
Blogger Lioux said...

: (

11:33 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

The UB... I did indeed. I worked at the on St. Marks for about a year. It was an easy job, but Mr. Kim was a lunatic.

Jason... The Korean mob thing was widely rumored and generally believed to be true. Do I have hard evidence? No. Did I see a lot of very well-dressed, angry-looking Korean men coming in and out of Mr. Kim's office with suitcases they didn't come in with? Yes.

Jack... Ah, how I long for those days. Good times... and it's good to see that you're not dead!

Popomatic... I know, right? I was pretty shocked when he laid that one on me.

ML... No, that sounds about right.

LSL... That sucks, dude. But yeah, it's kind of everywhere right now. About half of my friends have been laid off from their jobs in the last few months.

Hex... Well, I *am* good at hiding bodies...

Sonny... No, totally, I'm glad I'm not going to work there. It's just lame.

Lioux... 8==D (I made a dong!)

12:10 PM  
Anonymous Scott H. said...

Just to further pee on your hopes and dreams, the job market in Arlington sucks as well. Trust me... I know first hand.

1:40 PM  
Blogger lacochran said...

If I was you, I might be inclined to put an anonymous tip in to the authorities about this asshat's illegal employment practice. But I'm all kindsa petty like that.

Something better is out there.

2:26 PM  
Blogger Lady Snark said...

That totally fucking sucks. As I just told your lovely girlfriend-- I feel your pain. I got fired from my job today-- a job in which I was making bank and actually liked. Now it's back to square one in a small town where people are wiping their asses with pine leaves because everyone is broke.

I dig.

*claps you on the back* Good luck, comrade.

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Subway Gal said...

I know you hate them, but :(

10:26 PM  
Blogger blythe said...

it's not as bad as you think it'll be. trust me. also:


10:09 AM  

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