Friday, January 09, 2009

Friday Morning Hodgepodge

Going to make this a short one because, believe it or not, I actually have a job interview this morning! I know, I'm as shocked as you are. It's with a Major Chain Restaurant, which means that... yes... should I land this position, I will find myself back in the terrible, wonderful world of waiting tables. Truthfully, I'm kind of looking forward to it. Not to brag or nothin', but I was actually a pretty excellent waiter. Maybe it's my effervescent personality, or my ability to carry many, many orders of potato skins at one time without dropping them, or maybe it's just that I look snappy in an apron... dunno. But whatever the case, though it's hard, sometimes thankless work, being FOH agrees with me.

Or, you know, it did. It's been a few years since I last picked up a tray. I assume my waiter kung-fu is still there; rusty, sure, but like riding a bike or walking in high heels or riding a rocket-cycle over Snake River Canyon (all of which I've done in the last ten years), I assume the ability never really goes away.

I hope. Otherwise, I'm going to end up in a crowded kitchen on a Friday covered in salad dressing while that cartoon-y noise echos in my ears, "Wah-wah-WAAAAAAAH." And that wouldn't be any sort of fun. So fingers crossed, kiddos!


Oh yeah, and the restaurant's location? Times Square. Shriek, gasp, fall over dead... I know, that in and of itself seems like a really bad idea. Times Square is a place of unspeakable evil, after all, not to mention the fact that it mostly smells like pee. However... beggars can't be choosers in this economic climate and, besides, Times Square equals high volume which equals bigger tips which equals a happy, happy C-dog.

This is, of course, provided that I... you know... actually get the job. They may take one look at my fat butt and say, "Sir, we're hiring people to SERVE the food, not shove all of it into their greasy maws with their bare hands."

Ah, job hunting is fun...


Switching gears now, there's a movie I want to warn all you horror-lovin', schlock-monkeys about. It's most definitely a flick that's Not Worth Your Valuable Time...

I know, right? Seems like it would be awesome. It isn't. Girlfriend and I checked it over the weekend and while there ARE zombies and stripper in abundance... and even some strippers who turn into zombies and then do zombie stripteases... the movie commits the one cardinal sin of trashy entertainment: It's boring as all hell.
It has a lot to do with the way the movie is paced; as in, the move has no pacing whatsoever. Nothing flows, nothing grabs you from one scene and pulls you into the next. There's no slow ramping up to a finale, there's no... anything, really. A lot of talking in funny accents, a few scenes of stripping, some (admittedly excellent) gore, and that's about it. And that's not even mentioning the random, distracting, Philosophy 101-esque dialogue that sounds like every NYU Freshman first student film ever made. Not sure what that's all about and, frankly, I don't really care.
Disappointing stuff all around, plus it's sad to see Robert Englund in such a piece of crap. The man was Freddy Krueger, dammit!!! Have you no decency?!?! Anyway, avoid at all cost, kiddos. There are other, better zombie flicks out there. This one will only break your heart.


Anonymous Scott H. said...

Been back to waiting tables for a month now. Unfortunately, it easier than you remember and you just feel really old.

It is nice to be making money though!

12:25 PM  
Blogger Bill From Gainesville said...

Fresh air! Times Square, You are my wife... Good by city life, Green Acres .... wait.... actually for you, its the opposite, you will be going INTO times square and not out to the green acres of the country.... Plus you arent really my wife ...... so NEVER mind.

1:48 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Scott... I will definitely enjoy the income, no doubt. I'm wondering how my body will take king-hell rushes and double shifts, though.

Bill... Just the thought of spending time in actual green acers is enough to set off an allergy attack.

3:20 PM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Potato skins.....nom nom nom.

Thanks for the heads up on Zombies.

I have/had it in my queue.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

No worries; just doing my duty. It really is a shame that it sucked, though. I had high hopes.

3:48 PM  
Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

Hope the interview went well. (It should have been concluded by now.) Lord, I remember restaurant work as being some of the most difficult I've ever had to do. I'm sweating just typing about it.

4:00 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

Buddy, you're just biding your time, no matter if it's Times Square, or Wall Street, or whatever. It's all just a place where you'll grow. I don't want to be all Pollyanna on you, but I (and everyone else who reads you) knows you're going to do well. So get out there and fuck 'em all.

Just don't forget all us blogger-types when you get famous!

12:59 AM  
Blogger Ross said...

It's really hard to blog while you are waiting tables.

7:37 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

The UB... It definitely isn't easy, although the money certainly helps to ease the pain. It will be a long process of getting my mind and body back into Server-mode, no doubt.

Todd... Thanks, dude. I appreciate the vote of confidence. We'll just have to see what happens, I guess.

Ross... Yeah, I've thought about that. If I *do* end up getting a restaurant job, things will probably slow down around here with regards to posting. I mean, I'm not going anywhere... not shutting down the blog or anything like that... but I probably won't be able to post anywhere near as much as I have been. That will be sad. But, desperate times and all that.

9:51 AM  

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