Going to make this a short one because, believe it or not, I actually have a job interview this morning! I know, I'm as shocked as you are. It's with a Major Chain Restaurant, which means that... yes... should I land this position, I will find myself back in the terrible, wonderful world of waiting tables. Truthfully, I'm kind of looking forward to it. Not to brag or nothin', but I was actually a pretty excellent waiter. Maybe it's my effervescent personality, or my ability to carry many, many orders of potato skins at one time without dropping them, or maybe it's just that I look snappy in an apron... dunno. But whatever the case, though it's hard, sometimes thankless work, being FOH agrees with me.
Or, you know, it did
. It's been a few years since I last picked up a tray. I assume my waiter kung-fu is still there; rusty, sure, but like riding a bike or walking in high heels or riding a rocket-cycle over Snake River Canyon (all of which I've done in the last ten years), I assume the ability never really goes away.
I hope. Otherwise, I'm going to end up in a crowded kitchen on a Friday covered in salad dressing while that cartoon-y noise echos in my ears, "Wah-wah-WAAAAAAAH." And that wouldn't be any sort of fun. So fingers crossed, kiddos!
Oh yeah, and the restaurant's location? Times Square. Shriek, gasp, fall over dead... I know, that in and of itself seems like a really bad idea. Times Square is a place of unspeakable evil, after all, not to mention the fact that it mostly smells like pee. However... beggars can't be choosers in this economic climate and, besides, Times Square equals high volume which equals bigger tips which equals a happy, happy C-dog.
This is, of course, provided that I... you know... actually
get the job. They may take one look at my fat butt and say, "Sir, we're hiring people to SERVE the food, not shove all of it into their greasy maws with their bare hands."
Ah, job hunting is fun...
Switching gears now, there's a movie I want to warn all you horror-lovin', schlock-monkeys about. It's most definitely a flick that's Not Worth Your Valuable Time...
I know, right? Seems like it would be awesome. It isn't. Girlfriend and I checked it over the weekend and while there ARE zombies and stripper in abundance... and even some strippers who turn into zombies and then do zombie stripteases... the movie commits the one cardinal sin of trashy entertainment: It's boring as all hell.
It has a lot to do with the way the movie is paced; as in, the move has no pacing whatsoever. Nothing flows, nothing grabs you from one scene and pulls you into the next. There's no slow ramping up to a finale, there's no... anything, really. A lot of talking in funny accents, a few scenes of stripping, some (admittedly excellent) gore, and that's about it. And that's not even mentioning the random, distracting, Philosophy 101-esque dialogue that sounds like every NYU Freshman first student film ever made. Not sure what that's all about and, frankly, I don't really care.
Disappointing stuff all around, plus it's sad to see Robert Englund in such a piece of crap. The man was Freddy Krueger, dammit!!! Have you no decency?!?! Anyway, avoid at all cost, kiddos. There are other, better zombie flicks out there. This one will only break your heart.