Jesus Doesn't Like Your Swimsuit

You'd really think that a two-faced kitten would be, hands down, the most disturbing thing a person would see in a given day. Of course, that would be forgetting about the crazy Christians who are frightened of sex to the point that they design bathing suits that cover more than actual clothing and closely resemble that lead smock you wear during x-ray time at the dentists. See:

http://www.wholesomewear.com/page-3.html

Ew, right? I mean, I totally get people not wanting have their respective T's and A's hanging out all over the beach and, frankly, there are a few people I've seen at Coney Island that could do with a few extra yards of fabric covering their frightening bulk, but... c'mon. Wear a t-shirt, put on a pair of old shorts... don't buy an outfit that was designed specifically to minimize any kind of fun and looks like a cult member's idea of a good time. It reminds me of, during my brief tenure as a football player, we played the wacky uber-Jesus school and they're cheerleaders were wearing skirts down to their ankles and thick sweaters to their wrists and necks. Our cheerleaders, wearing the normal fare, looked like the Pussycat Dolls by comparison.

The people that wear these sorts of things, or prefer their women to wear these sorts of things, are the kind of folks who don't own a TV because it's "devilish," go to church every night for fun, and try to hand me "some free reading material about Jesus" when I'm trying to read the sports page in the Subway.

The hell of it is, they're probably so much happier than I am. Meh. Lousy sense-of-purpose-having, perpetually-smiling, don't-care-that-they-don't-know-what-they're-missing Christians.

Their blissful lack of fun is making my abundence of fun less fun.