Is That a 1-Up in Your Pocket?

Okay, here's how we're going to make a few million dollars (Note: By "we" I mean "me and my girlfriend." You can go to hell.)

It's common knowledge that everyone likes strip clubs. Those that say they don't are either so deeply reppressed by religion that they're basically eunichs or they're just assuming you mean the "naked lady" kind of strip clubs, whereas they'd prefer the types that employ greasy Russian men with abs so hard, you could chop vegetables on them and legs so powerful and sinewy they're like bridge cables, all sweaty and thrus... hey, woah, sorry. Ha ha... heh... I am so hetro.

Boobies. See?

Anyway. Strip clubs... people of both sexes like them because everyone likes to see pretty people with their clothes off. Fact o' life. Now, the problem with strip clubs is that they are all, to varying degrees, disgusting. Sure, some gild their sleaze with lots of fancy lights, moderately tasty free snacks and make the occassional effort to sweep up now and again. But, by and large, most are like that place by the airport that's all-nude because the strippers can't afford their own outfits, it smells like Lysol and sorrow, and the only snacks are a bag of sunflower seeds that the bartender found in the parking lot.

There's just no appeal to that, naked though the girls or boys are. Where's the fun? Where's the enticement? And, more importantly, where's the 80's video game references?

What?

That's right! We're going to open a strip club where all the strippers dress like 80's video game characters!!! Tell me that's a bad idea?

Princess Toadstool takes off that pink dress!
Link sheds his elvin duds and shows us the "real" Triforce!
Metroid was a girl, remember, and she's taking off more than the helmet to prove it!
Ninja Gaiden used to cling to walls and do backflips. Imagine that guy on a stripper pole!

And it's all going to be done to the soundtracks of your favorite video games. The Super Mario Bros theme will never be the same again!

All we have to do is plant this club in area with a high geek quotient; like off-campus at MIT or in Silicone Valley, and the nerds will be lining up like it was new Star Wars movie...

...Oh shit! Star Wars strippers! I gotta go write this down.

I am so going to be rich and shame my family.