Thursday, February 22, 2007

Three Things I Learned Yesterday

1. Catholics are easily riled when it comes to their religion. Or at least some of them are. I got just as many comments from their lot that didn't condemn me to a lifetime of eternal damnation, which I really appreciate.

2. I'm a bit of a pussy when it comes to angry people on the internet. Which is weird, because I don't particularly think of myself as a pussy in real life. Yesterday, when the bile started pouring in, my first instinct was, "Oh god, apologize... APOLOGIZE!!!" and I'm really not sure why or where that came from. I came to my senses after a bit and retracted my apology but, still, the undermining had already been done and I hate that. Anyway, so that's something else to add to my list of Things Clinton Needs To Fix About Himself (the list is 12 pages long, single-spaced, and resembles a militia member's manifesto).

3. I really like A1-flavored beef jerky. Okay, no, that's not terribly relevant, but still, it was something I discovered yesterday and I needed a third thing to fill out the list. Don't judge.

16 Comments:

Blogger LSL said...

People are freaks. Why so serious? I don't know.

I liked this post. (And the other one, too.)

11:47 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Aw, thanks! Yeah, I don't know what was up with that. Being the atheistic sort, I tend to forget that people get freaky-sore about their religion, so I guess that's all it was but, still... mucho overreaction.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy said...

Gawker linking to it prolly didn't help either. Screw 'em if they don't have a sense of humor, I say.

12:48 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Word up, Big Daddy. Word. Up.

1:15 PM  
Blogger Aeshema the Fury said...

Something about you brings out the Super Snark in Anony folks, Clint. I swear, first that insanity on The Hater, and now this.

I think it reached a new level of Internet-insanity when one anony was accusing you of being Blasphemous, while another was yelling at you for apologizing. Ha!

Where in the name of all that is holy did you get A1 flavored Jerky? I'm a fan of the jerked meats myself so I....uh...

ahem.

Not anywhere else to go from 'jerked meats' is there?

Benticore
Out

1:48 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I've decided that they are all just jealous because I'm so, so pretty.

As for the A1 jerky, I got it from my girlfriend, who got it somewhere in Syracuse (it was my souvenier). I'm sure they've got it elsewhere, though.

And why hasn't anyone started a glamrock band called "The Jerked Meats?" Because that's money in the bank.

1:58 PM  
Anonymous mmyers said...

Dude, I think you apologized because you're a nice person and there was no foul intended. Religion is a personal thing (but not above some playful jabbing) so you try to respect it. Nothing wrong with any of that.

3:04 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

I don't know if I'm really a "nice person," per se. I mean, I don't steal from old ladies are kick dogs, but I DID kill all those hitchhikers.

So, you know, that's got to be taken into account.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous mmyers said...

Yeah, but what religion were those hitchers?

Pagans, I'll bet.

4:01 PM  
Blogger Aeshema the Fury said...

"Yeah, but what religion were those hitchers?

Pagans, I'll bet."
- mmyers

Not just pagans, but Filthy pagans who didn't have their ash Wednesday forehead smudge.

Complete, the circle is.

Benticore
Out

5:55 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

God, I love a good Star Wars quote. Even if it is from Jedi.

6:21 PM  
Blogger Beehive Hairdresser said...

Clinton, I hate to say it, but I think the person or persons behind a news event in New Mexico topped you on the screwwing around on Ash Wednesday list...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/22/church.foul.language.ap/index.html

9:16 AM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Man... why is it always someone from New Mexico that upstages my evil, religion-mocking plans.

DAMN YOU NEW MEXICO!!!

10:01 AM  
Blogger threetoedsloth said...

Ah, welcome to the world of endless mean anonymous comments! As a general rule, if you write something that anyone in the whole world might possibly be able to find fault with, and Gawker links to it, you WILL find yourself crucified by a million people. I was completely traumatized the first few times that it happened to me. But after awhile you'll realize that it happens to everybody and it's just part of having lots of bored strangers reading your blog, and you won't really be affected by it too much anymore. It just means you're famous!

2:12 PM  
Blogger C.R. III said...

Damn! I take, like, ONE day away from ZFS and look what happens! First, props to you for getting link-love from Gawker (who do you have to blow over there, btw? I need some press.) and more props for the Ash Wednesday post. Seriously, those haters remind me of fundamentalist Muslims who are so threatened by any perceived insult to their religion (i.e. Dutch cartoons) that they'll call for a fatwah at the drop of a hat. Obviously, over-reactionary fundamentalism knows no denomination.

Yeah, fix that knee-jerk apology tendency--you don't owe them anything, and unsurprisingly, most of them commented as "anonymous". I usually just explain to those types that there is plenty of non-offensive Christian-oriented material on the Internet that they might be interested in and then link them to the filthiest porn site I have bookmarked. Uh, I mean "just came across when doing an innocent Google search."

Keep up the good work.

2:18 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Sloth... Yeah, it really took me by suprise. I've had a few things put up on Gawker by now and none of them have caused that kind of reaction. Eh well, I guess I survived relatively intact. All the better for next time.

CR III... See, this is why you should NEVER stop visiting my site, even for a day. Imagine what would have happened if you'd missed two days? I'd be dead, that's what.

1:22 PM  

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