I Will Fight Upsilon Andromeda b's Wars

I'm a closet space nerd, you should know, and occasionally I'll stumble across something like this that totally makes my head spin around with unrequited geektacular euphoria.

It's a planet made of half fire, half ice!!!

How fucking sci-fi cool is that??? I want to live there! I want to help lead the Ice People in a war against the evil Fire people! Of course the Fire People are evil. They're made of FIRE, duh. I'd totally be like Buck Rodgers or maybe a less-whiny Luke Skywalker and they'd probably end up carving awesome statues of me out of ice. And... uh...

Whoa...

I'm never going to get laid again, am I?