Monday, March 08, 2010

Help ZFS! Get Its Groove Back

Oh yeah, I have a blog. I keep forgetting. It's not that I don't love you or love blogging or have a deep, personal relationship with the Internet (that involves a lot of tongue-kissing) because I do... it's just that... I don't know. Nothing ever seems to HAPPEN anymore. I can't find things to write about because the only things that happen to me are as follows:

-I go to work and either it's really boring, or I deal with hateful customers whom are lucky their food isn't mostly my pubes.

-I go to school and... this semester anyway... do really poorly.

-I drink myself into oblivion like a star imploding in on itself (drunkenly).

And it's kind of just an endless cycle that don't stop, won't stop.

SO... here's an idea that may or may not work. I'm going to turn the creative process over to YOU, the reader. Give me something to work with... a topic, a picture, an idea you'd like to see fleshed out. I'll pick a few and I'll... you know... do something with them. Something WRITERLY! If you like the way I write about stuff (and I gather that a few of you do), then help a brother out. Kick-start the brain flow!!! Because seriously, I got nothing right now!!!

Please help, won't you?


Blogger The Unbearable Banishment said...

You were probably going to do this anyway but please do a post critiquing the dresses worn to the Oscars. You're quite good at that.

7:57 AM  
Blogger Cray said...

Double that request. I was waiting for it.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Beehive Hairdresser said...

Tell us about the time that a coworker of yours accidentally downed pop rocks with a cup of soda and died.

12:39 PM  
Blogger Todd said...

I've been watching this all morning. I can't think of anything else.

12:42 PM  
Blogger don said...

I enjoy hearing about the following:
Things about Texas.
Things from your childhood that are different now.
How dumb (most) celebrities are.
Music you like.

2:15 PM  
Blogger LSL said...

I was thinking that school has got to be providing some good material. I'm thinking of going back to school myself and would love to get your take on it.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Clinton said...

Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and discovered that I'd posted a solicitation for ideas in the middle of the night while blackout drunk.

Anyway, let me address them:

Fashion Critiques - I'm losing my enthusiasm for these posts, especially because no one outside of Lady Gaga is dressing like a lunatic anymore.

The Pop Rocks and Soda Death - That was Mikey. Or that kid from the shitty horror franchise Urban Legend.

Praying Mantis Attacking a Hummingbird - Freaky! Nature is scary and I don't like it. I bet I get attacked by a praying mantis. So would happen to me.

Don's Suggestions - See, I feel like I talk too much about these things. Maybe not. I *do* like talking about music. If you haven't heard Animal Collective's "Merriweather Post Pavillion" do yourself a favor. It's a winner.

School - Yeah, maybe I'll talk about school. I'm doing really shitty in it right now, so maybe it would be cathartic to have a discussion.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dammit, everyone else got to cherry pick the better ideas.
Oscar dresses for sure.

If you haven't done this already (too lazy to peruse the archives right now), I'd think how you wound up in NYC from Texas would be a couple of posts right there.


3:59 PM  
Blogger Nik Coughlin said...

Wikipedia, random article a few times. Discard anything excessively dull. Write something combining subjects in amusing fashion.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Boobs... always boobs

6:28 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

New Texas twist on "It came from Chinatown"

5:04 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

And boobs of course.

5:12 PM  
Blogger Meat Sweats said...

I would read about boobs. Not my boobs, but other people's, yeah. Well, maybe not man boobs. No... man boobs are ok. No old lady boobs though.

6:40 PM  
Blogger Cray said...

Boobs, or "It came from Little Mexico" I know there are places close to you with highly questionable merchandise...

7:43 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I would love to see your take on current viral videos (fuck that Choclate Rain shit... give us some new material).

I could always do with an anti-Twilight rant...

Go to a Medieval Times restaurant and write about it, with many Cable Guy references.

Try speed dating on a few different nights, but go as a different character (the asshole, the suave business man, whatever...).

Re-review your favorite movies from when you were a kid, but now as an adult.

Go up to some random person and say some shit like "Mooses walk alone in the park, but llamas wear slippers on escalators."

Create a meal out of what you have in the fridge and cabinets, works really well if you seriously need to go grocery shopping. Take pictures, post them, and let us know what you cooked and how it tasted.

Go to an asian grocery store and check out some of the weird shit they have.

Yeah... that's all I got for now...

9:14 PM  

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