Movie Poster A Go-Go: The Fourth
Things have been waaaay too gloomy around here, what with my girlfriend's brush with brutality and all, so, as a tonic, let's make fun of movie posters and their crappy marketing/graphic design skills. Seriously, it does more for the mood than a bottle of scotch and some free Playboy Channel.
Ghost Rider
You have got to be fucking kidding me. Was this poster designed by twelve-year-old boys? I know that the flaming motorcycle is part of the Ghost Rider's schtick but... man, c'mon. What works in the comics doesn't always translate to the big screen; why do you think they changed all the X-Men's costumes? Because nobody wants to see Hugh Jackman in yellow spandex, that's why. Especially when you can see him wearing yellow spandex live on Broadway. Anyway, this is a bad combo of the usual Hollywood photoshop job, a romance novel and the doodles off the backs of notebooks from 7th grade study hall.
The Host
Now this... this I like. A calm harbor being broken by a single tentacle that's snatching a woman back to it's murky depths. You can't beat that. They could've even left off the title, far as I'm concerned. Put just this picture outside a movie theater and I'll veer off course with money in my hand before I'm even aware of what's happening. I'll be sitting in the seats all scared and confused and then this movie will come on and I'll be all, "Ah yes... this is as it should be."
The History Boys
So... N'Sync made a movie with a fat British guy? Also, what's with the Star Wars angle font? You can paint it green all you want, but it's very presence makes me want to see a movie about lightsabers, Yoda and The Force and that's not the movie you've got, is it, The History Boys? No, it isn't. And no amount of standing around with your shirttails untucked can change that.
Let's Go To Prison
Well. That's certaintly a thinly-veiled anal rape joke on a major motion picture's movie poster. Um... kudos, I guess?
Dreamgirls
I get what they're trying to do here, I do, but... damn... am I the only one who looks at this poster and is only able to think of the word "Booty" playing endlessly on a loop? It must be Beyonce's involvement with the project; she could bring bootyliciousness to a movie about nuns.
Death of a President
Now, I'm of two minds here. One, of course, sees this and is filled with a warm glow akin to the feeling one gets after drinking wine in front of a fireplace right before everyone adjourns to the bedroom. It's just sooo comforting and happy. However, the other is reminded of all the screaming college kids who hang out in Union Square with the "Bush = Hitler" posters and are all loud while I'm trying to buy an apple cider donut at the farmers market. I don't like those kids. But I don't like Bush, either. Hmmm... what's an irritable Liberal to do?
Ghost Rider
You have got to be fucking kidding me. Was this poster designed by twelve-year-old boys? I know that the flaming motorcycle is part of the Ghost Rider's schtick but... man, c'mon. What works in the comics doesn't always translate to the big screen; why do you think they changed all the X-Men's costumes? Because nobody wants to see Hugh Jackman in yellow spandex, that's why. Especially when you can see him wearing yellow spandex live on Broadway. Anyway, this is a bad combo of the usual Hollywood photoshop job, a romance novel and the doodles off the backs of notebooks from 7th grade study hall.
The Host
Now this... this I like. A calm harbor being broken by a single tentacle that's snatching a woman back to it's murky depths. You can't beat that. They could've even left off the title, far as I'm concerned. Put just this picture outside a movie theater and I'll veer off course with money in my hand before I'm even aware of what's happening. I'll be sitting in the seats all scared and confused and then this movie will come on and I'll be all, "Ah yes... this is as it should be."
The History Boys
So... N'Sync made a movie with a fat British guy? Also, what's with the Star Wars angle font? You can paint it green all you want, but it's very presence makes me want to see a movie about lightsabers, Yoda and The Force and that's not the movie you've got, is it, The History Boys? No, it isn't. And no amount of standing around with your shirttails untucked can change that.
Let's Go To Prison
Well. That's certaintly a thinly-veiled anal rape joke on a major motion picture's movie poster. Um... kudos, I guess?
Dreamgirls
I get what they're trying to do here, I do, but... damn... am I the only one who looks at this poster and is only able to think of the word "Booty" playing endlessly on a loop? It must be Beyonce's involvement with the project; she could bring bootyliciousness to a movie about nuns.
Death of a President
Now, I'm of two minds here. One, of course, sees this and is filled with a warm glow akin to the feeling one gets after drinking wine in front of a fireplace right before everyone adjourns to the bedroom. It's just sooo comforting and happy. However, the other is reminded of all the screaming college kids who hang out in Union Square with the "Bush = Hitler" posters and are all loud while I'm trying to buy an apple cider donut at the farmers market. I don't like those kids. But I don't like Bush, either. Hmmm... what's an irritable Liberal to do?
posted by Clinton at 12:21 PM
3 Comments:
I heard that the Bush assationation is actually only 5% of that movie. It looks interesting, but I think it's only a LA/NY release. *pout*
I'll admit to being curious about the host if you'll admit it looks like live action Hentai.(sp?)
I'd do a google search but I don't want to get fired.
I do see your point. I think, though, that it's supposed to be more of a monster movie than a "tentacle rape porn" kind of thing. If I'm wrong... well, that's going to raise a lot of really uncomfortable questions about myself.
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